Asexual: a sexual orientation in which a person does not feel sexual attraction towards anyone.
At all. Period. Full stop.
Synonyms: Not, despite what you might think, “unnatural.”
Aromantic: a romantic orientation in which a person does not feel romantic attraction towards anyone.
At all. Period. Full stop.
Synonyms: not, despite what you might think, “broken.”
The worst part of being asexual and aromantic is trying to consume media:
Book? “Of course I’ve been in love, I’m human, aren’t I?”
Ugh.
TV? “Once they met, they knew. They were two halves of a whole, incomplete without each other, their lonely lives meaningless…”
Ugh.
Radio? Sex! Sex! Sex! Sexy sex!
Ugh.
The worst part of being asexual and aromantic is coming out:
“You just haven’t found The One yet.”
“I thought that way too before my first time.”
“That’s not natural! Love is what makes us human!”
“But do you… you know… masturbate?”
Ugh.
The worst part of being asexual and aromantic is people.
It’s people who will treat “getting into your pants” like the ultimate challenge,
Like some sort of sexual boss fight,
Like proof that they are so irresistible that no one can deny them, even those who claim to dislike sex –
C’mon, baby, no one dislikes sex.
Gimme a whirl.
You’ve been sleeping with the wrong people,
I’m different. I’m better.
It’s people who will develop crushes on you and convince themselves it is a tragic love story.
They will tell you repeatedly they don’t mind that you don’t reciprocate their feelings.
They will not ask if you mind their creepy,
Overbearing feelings.
They will not take into account that you did not sign up to be the subject of their tragically beautifully unrequited poetry.
They will use you as an excuse to tell anyone who will listen that their selfless brand of love is different.
That they are better.
It’s people who will pity you,
Your sad, loveless life,
How broken must you be,
What happened to cause this martyrdom?
Why can’t you trust? Why can’t you love? Why must you be alone forever?
Poor, lonely soul, what a brave face you put on.
It’s people who will tell you to stop complaining.
There is no downside, they will say, to being asexual or aromantic.
It’s not as though you face any great hardship.
Our culture does not look down upon you.
You have not been systematically erased,
Cut out of a culture which praises love and sex above all else,
You have not lived all your life feeling broken
You did not dig up your label from some obscure corner of the internet,
You did not weep in relief when you found it, overjoyed at the notion that there are others like you,
There are no others like you –
You are a lie, they will say.
The worst part of being asexual and aromantic,
Is that for most of your life,
You will believe them.
The Worst Part
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