there’s a definite lingering feeling of brokenness and loss I still have from when I realized I was aroace? I spent such a long time being like “…wait…maybe I have a romantic orientation…it’ll show up…someday…” but at least for now that hasn’t happened, and might never, and even though I have literally zero interest in any kind of sexual or romantic relationship in practice, the culture of love stories still makes me feel like I’m giving up The Most Important Thing Ever In My Life simply by realizing I don’t want it.
When I tell people I’ve never had a crush on anyone and probably never will, they are usually like, “Well…you’re not missing much, actually. Crushes suck. Relationships suck.” And yet everything is built on love and crushes and attraction and sex. Movies, books, people shipping characters together, tumblr posts starting with “imagine your crush…”, plays, every song ever – give me something, please, that shows me that I can experience all the sweetness and tragedy life has to offer without ever kissing anyone once, without “gentle caresses” or staring deep into someone’s dark eyes. Give me something that shows me I can live a full life without love or sex – that I’ll be an old lady one day with three cats and zero regrets. Give me something that shows me I’m not broken.
Published
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 