A friend was recently asking me to describe my experience of being aromantic. After listening for a little while, she asked me what it’s like to experience intimacy in a way that is fundamentally outside all the mainstream narratives of intimacy. I stumbled over all the different words I could have said for a moment, and finally spit out only one word: “isolating”. From talking with other aros, I think this is a relatively common experience. Aros in particular feel the effects of amatonormativity beyond just intimate relationships. It extends to most interpersonal relationships, even professional relationships, because amatonormativity is that pervasive.
In case you aren’t familiar with the word, according to its coiner, amatonormativity is “the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive,
romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking
such a relationship.”
The isolation of amatonormativity
Published
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