When I first realised I was aromantic, I didn’t think I’d been affected by amatonormativity, nor thought I had any internalized aropobia. Guess what? I was wrong. Up until recently I hadn’t really thought about my aro journey in such a way, but I realise now that that was a mistake. When I figured it out I was still in a romantic relationship, and my first thoughts were: “okay so, I’m not comfortable in a romantic relationship, but, I still want a relationship of some sort! I want kids! I want to share my life with someone!”
It took me a while to realise that this wasn’t quite the case, but I assumed that was just me developing into my aromantic identity. I now know that I don’t want a qpr or relationship of any sort, and I’m not 100% set on the kids thing, either. It’s gonna take a lot of work to sort past the amatonormative ramblings of society in my brain, but when I get there, I’ll know that I don’t need anyone to make me whole, and I can be happy and fulfilled alone.
So basically, what I’m trying to say is, arophobia and amatonormativity around us can have a much larger effect than we may acknowledge or even anticipate. Try your best to sort through how you really feel, rather than listening to what society has to say.
Amatonormativity is hard to notice sometimes
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