I’ve been coming out for over 10 years now, and honestly the one thing I wish I’d realized sooner is how useful descriptive language can be. Not only do you not need a label, you don’t even have to have everything figured out yet 🙂 Here are some solutions to common problems that can make it hard to explain who you are:
If you’re struggling to find the perfect label, try describing your sexual orientation or gender identity instead
Ex: “I’m attracted to men and nonbinary people” “I identify with women, but I don’t feel 100% female” “I don’t normally experience sexual attraction”
If you aren’t sure about your identity but want to come out, you can always just say the parts you are sure about
Ex: “I like guys” “I have a crush on this person” “I don’t feel like a woman”
Want to be clear about how you feel, or worried about your labels changing later? You can include your questioning in the description.
Ex: “I think I’m trans, but I’m not sure” “I don’t really know how I identify yet, but I know I’m queer” “I think I’m on the ace spectrum”
Want to identify with a common label, but acknowledge there is a part that doesn’t fit? Try modifying the label with descriptors
Ex: “I’m like 95% gay” or “I’m a nonbinary lesbian” “I’m a trans man, but my gender is fluid sometimes”
Want to take the pressure off or show how you feel about your identity? Play around with humor & tone to really suit you.
Ex: “I’m a really bad lesbian” (I’m nb and sometimes attracted to men and have used this one) “I’m so gay I can’t even think straight” “I’m too cool for gender”
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At the end of the day, coming out is often informal and conversational, and you can use this to your advantage. The important thing isn’t the exact wording you use, but what you are trying to share ❤
If any of you are stressed because you aren’t sure of your identity or can’t find the perfect label, I hope this approach helps. It’s definitely made a big difference to me and my confusing gender and sexual orientation :p
PSA for LBGTQ babes
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