Even if I was given the opportunity to fall in love with someone romantically, I wouldn’t take it.
If I was given the chance to stop being aromantic, and begin experiencing romantic feelings like most people do, I would not take it.
Even though it would mean that I wouldn’t have to deal with all the crap aromantics get–being treated like we’re villainous, inhuman, disreputable, heartless, selfish, lying, robotic, immature, or nonexistent–even then, I would still choose to be aromantic instead of romantic.
Why? Because being aromantic is part of who I am. It has shaped my past experiences, and made me the person I am today. And I happen to like the person I am. If you changed the sort of emotions I can feel toward people, you’d be changing a fundamental part of my personality. I don’t want some “love interest” to change me like that.
I don’t care if other people think “falling in love” would be good for me or bring me happiness. I would rather pursue my own form of happiness, than give up part of myself in order to conform to what other people think will make me happy.
Every day, the culture I live in throws messages at me: Romance is important. Don’t you want romance? Of course you do. Romance is necessary. Your life is unfulfilling and lonely if you don’t have a romantic partner. You should date. You should seek out romantic love. You should want this emotion that we are telling you to want. If you don’t want it, then you’re just lying to yourself. We know what’s best for you. We know that you want it.
And this is my response to those messages: No.
It may be hard for some people to believe, but I truly, genuinely don’t want romantic love. I don’t miss it. I do not feel incomplete, or lonely, or inferior because I don’t have a romantic partner. And I will not allow society to make me feel like I am incomplete or inferior. I used to feel that way; I used to believe those messages.
I will not fall for that lie again.
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