Look at this beautiful anon opening the floodgates. Ok! I got some gems for you
Apple is going downhill & they owe me a refund
My dad’s a whiny bitch and I raised him poorly
Dogs ≠ Cats and Cats ≠ Dogs but neither is superior to the other. They are both lovely fluff balls, the same goes for lizards. Yes you heard me. Lizards are fluffballs.
The Yellowstone supervolcano might be a problem
the apocalypse will be climate change and it will be devastating & boring. It hurts me to say, there will be no zombies.
Fuck the bourgeoisie.
Coffee & beer can taste good but only after you murder your senses
reese’s pieces are bullshit & they killed the superior peanut butter m&m. Yeah you fucking heard me.
Invest in IBM they’re making a comeback
We should start wearing cloaks again they are superior to every form of clothing.
My family doesn’t properly appreciate me. Neither do you. *sobs*
If I spend time cooking it should automatically taste amazing, I’ve earned it
Seasons are bullshit & I hate them.
I don’t care how beautiful or how in love with them you are, no person’s eyes are as deep or full of emotion or starlike as a chameleon’s
I should be president, but I won’t b/c I have too much integrity.
All Disney movies should be remade from the villain’s pov
The rich should pay more taxes, and I should be exempt from IRS investigations
I should be exempt from all IRS investigations
I am a national treasure and for the sake of historic preservation someone should give me a plaque
If I decide to build a haunted cabin in the woods and use it to terrorize unsuspecting Airbnb guests that’s my business
They should make a pokeball bath bomb so I can yell “I choose you pikachu!” when I throw it in. I mean I do it that with all bath bombs but it would be nice u know
and i leave you with this pearl of wisdom:
life’s too short not to commit credit card fraud
what is your opinion
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