When Stan Lee dies, all the Marvel movie characters should mention they have funerals to attend for their postman/doorman/friend/stripclub DJ and then be very confused when they all show up at the same one.
You know just how long 2018 has been? You know how long?
Did you even remember there was an Olympic games this year? Because I didn’t. I thought oh, last year. No. There was a winter Olympics in Korea and I forgot about it.
You know how long this year has been? The tide pod thing happened in January of this year
people understand that Spanish speakers speak different dialects of the Spanish language but don’t understand that black people speak a dialect of the English language
saw a variation of this conversation on twitter earlier
I just want to state for the record that this is completely uncontroversial among linguists. It’s the first day of sociolinguistics class.
traditional celtic folk music makes me go buck fucking wild. i don’t know what it is, if it’s just in my blood or if it’s a past life or just ‘cause it’s objectively soulful but I hear that fiddle and I immediately transform into this heartbroken irish widow in 1787 with a shawl draped over my shoulders staring over the cliffs of moher, waiting for my ghostly lover to return from sea
If you’re listening to the songs out-of-context and a character says something metaphorical, hyperbolic, hypothetical, and/or abstract, take it either SUPER literally…
Evan sings about falling in a forest and nobody being around to hear it? Yeah, the boy literally fell out of a tree. And no one came to help him
Javert yells for an entire song about how sinners will fall? He’s going to fall to his death, just wait
Jenna doesn’t know it yet, but “Take It From an Old Man” is about Joe literally asking her to take his business
J.D. from Heathers or Kim from Miss Saigon says they’d give their life for someone? Oh, they’re so gonna
Burr says, “Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead”? The person he sings that to and the person who sings after him are both not making it to old age
…I’m just going to take this moment to point out that the phrase “I’ll Cover You” also has the meaning of “I’ll bury you”
Everyone in the opening number of Tuck Everlasting is singing about living like this forever? I kid you not, you’re about to find out that the main people in this song are immortal
…or, if a character says something super literal, just go ahead and assume that the opposite will turn out to be the case:
Gabriel sings a whole song about how he’s alive, he’s alive, he is so alive? Boy, he’s dead
Julie and Billy sing a song called “If I Loved You”? THEY LOVE EACH OTHER OKAY
sorry, I’m just sitting here laughing at the sheer irony of the song title “No One Else”
as we have learned, Cathy could not, in fact, do better than that
in a stunning twist, Amy from Company is, in fact, getting married today
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