When I thought I was a cis girl, I definitely felt this way. I thought I was just a tomboy and I wanted smaller boobs because “they’re just easier and look nicer!” and I wanted a penis because “that’d make camping easier!” Once somebody called me “flat” as an insult, and I smiled for the rest of the day. I was really deep in the closet even with myself, so I thought it was normal for girls to want to look more like boys.
Hating your body and finding it gross is pretty common in people with gender dysphoria, but it can also be a sign of something else, like body dysmorphic disorder or even just really bad self esteem. A good mental exercise that helped me figure out whether or not I was trans was thinking about how I really wanted to live my life. In the future, did I want to be a middle-aged woman, or a middle-aged man? Did I want to actually have a flat chest and be able to walk around shirtless without feeling naked, or did I just want smaller boobs? When I was old and wrinkly, did I want a deep voice, a grizzly beard, a big belly? Or did I want a saggy chest, old lady hair, slim limbs? Did I want to die a woman or a man?
While a bit gruesome, this exercise really helped me to realize that even though I had nothing against being a girl socially, I really hated being a girl physically. I was suffering from really intense dysphoria that I kept pushing back. I was trans. I didn’t just want to be a different kind of girl, I wanted to be a guy.
For me, I’ve always known my body was attractive, it just wasn’t right. So I never really considered that it might be a self-esteem issue or BDD. I didn’t just want my body to still be female but different, I wanted a male body.
The reason why I stress this part is that sometimes, people with BDD can focus on sexed body parts (like their boobs), and think, “These need to be larger/smaller) without actually wanting them gone entirely. In that case, that’s not exactly normal for cis girls to deal with, but it’s not being trans either.
If these kinds of feelings are really wearing you down, I would advise you to see a therapist, especially one who deals with gender dysphoria or body dysmorphic disorder. They will be able to help you explore these feelings and see if you’re actually trans or if it’s something else.
I wish you the best of luck with finding yourself out. 🙂
Smash or pass: the sexy tuna guy from the starkist cans
Fuck marry kill: green giant, sexy tuna, mr clean
You are NOT allowed to kill mr clean
This is obvious, kill the sexy tuna because that’s just weird, fuck Mr clean because he’s ripped and you know you won’t catch anything, now here you might think marry Mr clean because he’ll clean the house, but no, his cleanliness standards would be unbearable.
marry the green giant, making you basically a pagan god through marriage, and he can probably make vegetables grow using magic and as a vegan I need that, dick probably too big to do anything with but like, pagan marriages can be poly I think
I want you to know you are so powerful to be able to begin with “this is obvious”
you must tag @songoforpheus in every cute pet photo you can find. no exceptions.
the salty lesbians will come attacking with eposette (i am proud to be a salty lesbian-ish)
if you’re welcoming someone new to the fandom, or greeting your old friend, you must be super nice. like, everyone’s required to be nice.
pretty much everyone who’s read the brick is half brick half musical
“thank you so much for this one kudos!! you are my lifeline and support’
pretty much saints and gods
Very true. If I (song-of-orpheus, self-declared prophet) do not receive sacrifices of cat pictures I will be mysteriously drowned in the castle lake, and I’m not letting that happen for at least a few centuries.
Also, Éposette is Everything. I have only finished a few fics of them but they are still incredibly dear to my heart.
to further add on: i must also be tagged in any and all cute animal pictures (particularly cats) in order to fuel my mysterious rate of churning out endless amounts of courferre, eposette, and exr fics. it is the unspoken rule.
…dare I say veterans being the public image of PTSD in america is deliberate propaganda to make us sympathize with soldiers who kill people overseas ? way more women have PTSD than men, and a lot have it from sexual and domestic violence, not combat.
ENJOLRAS – has three little circles on his collarbone forming the Borromean circles link- it’s a maths thing where all three circles can only be linked using three, and take one away and it doesn’t work. The triumvirate all have these. He also has a tiny cartoon line tattoo of a sun on the inside of his left wrist
COMBEFERRE – the same circles as Enjolras and a silhouette of a moth on the inside of his right arm. A series of arrows along his left forearm
COURFEYRAC- the circles again, and little symbols forming almost like a doodle tattoo sleeve on his right shoulder and upper arm. Includes the rainbow flag, a compass, a doodle of a lion and the words “carpe the fucking diem”
GRANTAIRE- tattoo sleeves, quite a few flowers and just general patterns. Hates wearing jewellery so has the letter E on his ring finger (yes I stole this from Lin Manuel Miranda, who has V for his wife Vanessa). Has a constellation of stars across his upper back which Enjolras likes to add to with biro when waiting for him to wake up.
JOLY – tattoos are unhygienic!
BOSSUET – “felix culpa” which means happy mistake/ when something bad eventually leads to something good. Unfortunately there’s a spelling mistake in it.
BAHOREL – series of rings wrapping all the way up his arms with vines twirling around.
JEHAN – a cartoon skull on the back of his shoulder, and something poetic along his wrist
FEUILLY – a row of tiny little circles along the inside of his arm, one for each Amis
MARIUS – has a tiny line on his back from where Cosette tried to get him to have a heart but he passed out before they could finish it
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 