– You have to shower. You cannot shower. You are standing right in front of the shower. You want to shower. You cannot shower.
– The meeting begins. “Did everyone see the email?” There is a chorus of nodding heads. You nod, too. You think you may possibly have checked an email account before, on one single occasion, at some unknown time, probably in a past life.
– You are hungry. You have been hungry for three days now. The hunger has not spontaneously resolved itself. How inconvenient, you think. How rude.
– You depend on your planner/calendar. You loathe your planner/calendar. You can’t function without it. You live in constant fear of it. It’s an unhealthy relationship. You think you both should start seeing other people.
– There is a pile on your floor. It is a treasure trove, the Room of Requirement. It has everything. You look for something specific. It has nothing. There was never any pile.
– There’s been a change of plans, they say. You don’t understand. They repeat: “there’s been a change of plans.” You don’t understand. The mere suggestion causes a buzzing in your head that drowns out everything else. You don’t understand.
– You’re in class and you don’t understand the lecture. You look back at your past notes. You look at a calendar. You have not been to class in two weeks. You have no memory of this supposed time. Where did it go? Why did it leave?
– “Organizational tips for success: Keep a planner! Write it down! Stick to a schedule! Make a list!” You are torn between deranged laughter and ugly crying. You choose both.
I am blown away by the response to this post. Seriously, if you’re feeling alone, read the notes. I had no idea that other people would identify so hard with this???
I was just sitting there, doing nothing as usual, when I realized how much of my literal everyday experience reads like a bad meme, and I slapped this together. And now people are commenting that it’s not even gothic, this is literally how it is, and it’s so nice to hear that? because these were all based on things that had actually happened to me personally in the last two weeks alone. And I’m just so glad I’m not the only one.
Executive functioning issues don’t get much attention– whether because it’s not usually a household term, or because psych people can’t seem to decide whether it’s a diagnosis or a symptom or whatever. And it’s a totally foreign concept for people who don’t experience it– like, just get up. you know how to do that.
But guys. We’re not alone. Our experience may be weird as hell, a literal meme, but we’re not the only ones. and idk that gives me so much hope? (I say wearing pajamas at 7pm having not left my room all day. but baby steps.)
so come on. let’s go. These tasks of Doing Things and Being Human are daunting but we’re gonna do it together and we’re gonna crush them.
[that said… @ those of you saying you first read it as erectile dysfunction: NO]
This is both a “fuck customers” and also a “what the fuck customers”. I went into the bathroom at work (America’s Treadmill) and there was a slice of cheese on the ground. I have many questions. How did it get there? Did a customer bring their food into the bathroom? Why the fuck did they bring their food into the bathroom? Why did they just leave it there for me to find instead of throwing it out? To add to the mystery, we only have one type of cheese at my job, which is a bright orange color. The bathroom cheese was basically white!! This isn’t even our cheese!!!! Why did they bring cheese from somewhere else into our bathroom, drop it on the floor, and then LEAVE IT ON THE FLOOR?!?! Throw it out wtf? Why, just… why????
before you say anything, think to yourself “is this something that would have gotten me diagnosed with hysteria and institutionalized in the 19th century?” and if the answer is yes, carry on
Oooooooh anon! It’s my job to a) make you feel better and b) to throw enjoltaire fluff in every direction, you came to the right place! Now let us consider :
Enjolras waking up from a terrible and very vivid nightmare and Grantaire rocking him back to sleep while humming a song because he has a very beautiful singing voice
Enjolras trying to cook breakfast for once and fucking it up completely and ending up presenting burnt toasts, an over-cooked egg and his apologies. But Grantaire doesn’t care, at least he got that blush on his cheeks he loves so much right
Grantaire getting the worst back aches because of his terrible posture and the fact that he’s focused on his work so much so Enjolras volunteers to give him generously long and in-depth massages
Sorry but there is nothing cuter than Enjolras calling Grantaire “mon coeur” and Grantaire calling Enjolras “mon ange”
And they whisper these little names as often as they can and it still feels special each time because they have never called anyone else like that before
Them being able to communicate silently. Grantaire can sense when Enjolras is uncomfortable or angry and he takes his hand and brushes his thumb with his to reassure/calm him down
Hamilton: The mingling of dust and sweat, hefty textbooks, that one college sweatshirt, high school girlfriends, red pen on 12pt Times New Roman, Red Bull fueled all nighters, falling asleep on your term paper, bloody noses from fistfights, all consuming hunger, that poem you can’t name but cannot forget, hero worship
Dear Evan Hansen: Crying silently, sleeping through alarms, the school nurse’s office, back row at the talent show, checking your phone for alarms that won’t come, looking through photo albums of your childhood, keeping safe distances, board games, the smell of clean linen, the yearning for the ocean
Heathers: Fucking up your eyeliner, accidentally flipping off your mom, eating fruit while you do math homework, scanning lists for your name, scratchy jackets, sweaty handholding, kicking rocks, acne cream that doesn’t work, cherry popsicles on a spring afternoon, graffiti in the girl’s bathroom, curly pencil handwriting on loose leaf paper, the sound of music from someone else’s car as it passes by you on the road, shellshocked faces, faded red lipstick
Les Misérables: Marble that is past its prime, thin white dresses, stepping on cracked cobblestone, petal-soft kisses, mother’s necklace, hearing screaming through your rickety walls, cold sweat clinging to your forehead, biting into a peach that’s a day too ripe, rain hitting the dirt, going to church despite the pain
Be More Chill: Cracked phone screens, stealing bits of your friend’s lunch, playing truth or dare, incomprehensible inside jokes, weeds that look like flowers, sneaking out of the house, dancing to music coming from a phone speaker, platonic kissing, pink carnival tickets, dry-erase markers, cassettes, teachers that make weed jokes
Spring Awakening: “Am I gay” quizzes at 3am, the tight air of a local drugstore, staring up at your bedroom ceiling, posters of celebrities, piercing your own ears, kisses under the bleachers, failing tests, pink shag carpets, singing into your hairbrush, starting books but never finishing them, awkward family dinners
Wicked: Inscriptions on the inside of your yearbook, crying happy tears, slick black trench-coats, the screams of protest, staring at pictures in newspapers, eating lunches alone, laughter that drops off quickly, forgetting your own name, being willing to kill for your best friend, being willing to die for your best friend, dancing in celebration, refusing to show emotion
Phantom of the Opera: Intricate lace, voices echoing in cavernous spaces, footprints in freshly fallen snow, blood soaking through black suits, winding cursive on parchment, biting the locket your father gave you, the feeling of being in an inescapable trance, smelling roses but not knowing where they are, candles that have burned out
Rent: Screaming and not being heard, wearing clothes despite the holes, clutching the arms of the guy you think you might love, the feeling of weakness overtaking you, going to parties for the free food, reclining on a ratty couch and laughing until you cry, being able to speak three languages and barely using one, knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 