in history today we were talking about the american revolution and how it was unfair of the british to tax the colonies so much even on basic necessities they need to live. so i raised my hand, “isn’t that like how we’re still taxed on everything we buy today? even things we need like groceries in certain states, and pads/tampons.”
and the whole class got so fucking quiet andkdldbrjfjd
but yea like it so hypocritical the way the whole country like looks up to the american revolution.
today protesters are told they’re violent for arguing with people. but back then the colonists would throw rocks at soldiers and pour melted tar on tax collectors effectively burning them to death. and nobody thinks that is wrong, everybody thinks the colonists had to do whatever they needed to do to win but,,, when modern day activists do anything besides stay emotionless and quiet, they get told theyre crazy radicals who won’t get anywhere from being angry.
yeEt. My big bro’s girlfriend aka my future sister in law is muslim (he used to be muslim too actually), and honestly, islamophobia is a stupid fucking thing.
I mean, it’s a story about oppression and the evils of the world, a story about the downtrodden, the mistreatment of people at the hands of the government and society…
…Any idea why trans/nb/gnc people might feel drawn to that?
So figuring out the difference between whether you’re experiencing romantic attraction, QP attraction or alterous attraction can be really tricky for a couple reasons. A major one is that we’ve all grown up being taught over and over again that any attraction=romantic attraction and means we have to want to date them. And it’s really hard to break that association.
There’s a similar thing to this with sexual attraction, but unlike romantic attraction, sexual attraction is a lot more straight forward to explain/describe. Romantic attraction on the other hand tends to have this ineffable quality. and often gets described as ‘you’ll know it when you feel it’. Which makes it a bit harder to pinpoint.
The other issue is that romantic attraction, QP attraction and alterous attraction can all have similar symptoms. (Thinking about the person you’re attracted to a lot, being nervous around them, thinking they’re really interesting, etc.)
So the first step to figuring out if you’re experiencing romantic attraction or not is breaking that association of attraction=romantic attraction. You’ve already figured out that your attraction may not be romantic, which is the first step, but it honestly just takes time.
Try and ask yourself honestly, what’s your idea situation with this person. Is it being really close/being really important to them? But being completely satisfied if the relationship is entirely platonic? (Common with QP attraction)
Is it having a very strong emotional bond, and it either doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or platonic, or you’d like something that’s something in between or defies labels? (Common with alterous attraction)
When you fantasize about being with this person, do you naturally drift towards scenarios that you personally would consider romantic? Is it important to you that you do romantic things with them? (Common with romantic attraction)
Reading up on QP attraction and alterous attraction, especially the experiences of people who experience them, can be really useful too.
The other thing is that there are also a few labels for people who can’t distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction, or just kind of occupies that area between the two. Some of the better known labels that fall under this:
Quoiromantic (great write-up here) is probably the most common, but there’s also idemromantic (someone who categorizes relationshionships and feelings as platonic or romantic, but feels no internal difference between the two), platoniromantic (someone who feels no difference between romantic and platonic attraction) and schromantic (someone who feels like the attraction they experience is both romantic and platonic at the same time or is a mix of the two), which all might be worth looking into too.
Remember you can also be both demi and be any of the listed labels above too.
And it is absolutely fine using the ♠️ symbol for follow-up questions.
I am allo as fuck. I experience lots of romantic attraction. I get crushes all the ding dang time, of all sorts. (Side note, I didn’t really understand the concept of a ‘squish’ for a long time, because I had never had a crush that didn’t have some sort of I MIGHT LIKE TO DO A SEXY THING component. And then I realized I totally have a squish on Reggie Watts from the Late Late Show. I just want to snuggle and talk about Westworld? But I’m like super crushing on him in a snuggly friend way?)
Anyway. Here’s the thing. Like. I can choose to either be an inclusive person who stretches out my arms and says, “come on up, bring that bit of wood you’ve been clinging to, and add it to our raft so that our raft is bigger, and we will all weather the storm together. I can see that you are hurt and tired, and I, too, am hurt and tired. And together we have a better chance of surviving.”
Or.
I can shove people off the raft, have a smaller raft because people aren’t bringing me their life jackets and bits of flotsam they’ve been clinging to, have a shittier crew on that raft because we’re all focused on who should and shouldn’t be on the raft rather than how we can get the raft to a safe harbor and take care of everybody on it until we get there.
Those are the choices. The only reason to shove someone off the raft is if they’re actively, that individual, a danger to people on the raft, because no one ends up clinging to flotsam in the middle of this metaphorical ocean unless they belong on the ding dang raft in the first place. They’re all on the big sturdy SS Cisheteroalloperipatriarchy. They don’t need our raft and they don’t want it.
Clearly, I choose the first one. And I’m glad to welcome you up onto my raft. The seas are high and choppy, and we’re not gonna make it if we have to weather these waves alone.
SAGAL: A poll of 5,000 singles conducted by a Rutgers University professor who now uses emoji all the time found that 54 percent of people who use emoji had sex in the past year 2014, way more than non-emoji users. And also interesting, 70 percent of the women surveyed are faking the smiley face.
POUNDSTONE: I don’t even want to talk to those people let alone have sex with them.
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