reblogging again for the tags because this holds so much value to me as a minor and i think it’s really important that y’all understand this.
So my community college is connected w a Junior college academy meaning that we got lil kids runnin around in some of our classes.
I had one in my class, he was real tall and pretty attractive and he seemed shy so I talked to him. He was super sweet and asked for my number and I agreed to give it to him until I saw his little folder,
Which said the acronym for his Junior college. I simply asked “hey, you go to (insert)” and he says yeah, so I go “so exactly how old are you?” And he told me he was 15.
I smiled and said gently “Hey, I’d love to be friends w you, but I’m 19 and I’d rather not make it an uncomfortable situation since you’re from the junior college and you’re so young”
He respected that request and appreciated it and we went along our merry fucking ways (we’re seating buddies actually).
It’s not that FUCKING HARD to ask someone’s age, or not even ask but find indicators even.
Literally straight up ask it’s not that damn hard.
as a minor myself, its so so important to me that people realize this. if you’re not sure, you check. if there is no indicator, ask directly. “not realizing” is not an excuse when there are so many opportunities to find out.
Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.
Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?
And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run
But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually
Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.
Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!
Fyi- just in case you didn’t know.
TOUCH got a bro that likes to give high fives? Back slaps? Are they a hugger? Do they not blink an eye at cuddles?
QUALITY TIME this bro will (as op stated) sprint to spend every minute possible with you. Every second that you guys are together is a declaration of affection.
WORDS does your bro tell you how amazing and great and fantastic and wonderful you are all the time? Guess what…?
GIFTS do they buy you coffee? Snacks, energy drinks, spot you at the restaurant? Did that one key chain removed you of them? Ding ding!
ACTS are they always doing things for you? Ie: Nah bro, I got this, I can do that, need me to get anything for you, I can help with…?
PRO TIP – The way people show love is often how they receive love as well.
All this BUT I would disagree with the last pro tip! You have to be careful because that is what is confusing about love languages! The way someone expresses affection and the way they enjoy receiving affection can differ, sometimes drastically.
When considering love languages, there are five things you should figure out and keep in mind when in any kind of relationship.
1 – How do you express your affection?
2 – How do you enjoy receiving affection?
3 – How does your partner express their affection?
4 – How does your partner enjoy receiving affection?
5 – In what ways are each of those similar, where do they overlap, and how can each of you best express affection in a wholesome and fulfilling way?
For those of you in poly relationships, the list keeps going for each person in the relationship. Don’t leave anyone out!
Find these out, and then put these findings into practice!
But also remember, the most important thing in any relationship is open, honest, and frequent communication. Have times set aside where you can have serious and open conversations about affection, emotional fulfillment, and relationship guidelines.
Equally important is trust, both for yourself and for your partner(s). Trust your partner(s) enough to tell them the truth about your feelings while you are feeling them. Trust that they are doing what they can to fulfill your needs, and trust that they will be open to your feelings on how they might be able to improve.
Without trust and communication, a relationship quickly turns into a battle between the involved parties. And that isn’t fun for anyone involved.
TL;DR: The ways people express and receive affection often differ. Find these out for every party in a relationship and apply that on a foundation of honest trust and open communication.
To all the people who were told as kids(and in their adult life), that they should not be sad, angry, nervous about something. Or were told that they should be happy and/or grateful when they did not feel that way.
It is okay to have feelings that are seen as bad, wrong or even evil by society.
Rage is not wrong, sadness is not wrong. It is okay to feel not happy, it is okay to not feel grateful.
You and your mind have good reasons for feeling a certain way, even when it seems puzzling or wrong to others.
Find out the reason for why you feel a certain way, and things will be much clearer. We are taught not to, we are told to push away and burry. Which is unhealthy, poisoning us. Find out the reason for your rage, and you will calm it. Find out the reason for your sadness, and you can sooth it. Find out the reason for why you do not feel grateful, and you can walk away from bad situations.
*whispers* okay I wont tell anyone. Im good at keeping secrets.
Before I came to France I was a bit if a wanderer. Never really had a home or a family (until now)
But when I stayed in poland there was this little oldlady who swore up and down that I looked just like her grandson and took me in for multiple nights, gave me warm clothes and a hot meal.
She was quite the nationalist, always going on about the lovely place and all it offered. Anyway- I had to leave because I had so much more to see but I never forgot her
When I returned years later I found that she had been fallen ill and died shortly after I left. But Ive never forgotten a word she had said to me about that place
And I figure I owe it to her to keep on what make her so happy.
why do people always pull hip-hop and rap as a misogynist area of music? yes, many rappers are misogynistic, but it’s not the only genre. let’s talk about country music, about the preacher’s daughter trope, the cutoff jeans, the get-her-drunk mentality; let’s talk about pop music, about the drugs and the clubs and the possessive “love songs”; let’s talk about alternative music, about “she’s not like other girls” and the manic pixie dream girl; let’s talk about classical music, about the exclusion of women now and in history.
let’s talk about how everyone’s first reaction is to villainize a primarily black genre before criticizing literally anyone else.
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 