vampireapologist:

being a cashier is so stressful i’ll be like “hi! how are you :^)” and the customer will hand me a screwdriver and say “my granddaughter had a miscarriage this morning” and I’m like …………………..i’m so sorry that’s $2.33

Deadass I once told a customer “Have a nice day!” and he responded that he couldn’t because it was the anniversary of his wife’s murder

the-macra:

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

“so, how’d you die?”
“I was promised a brownie by a fish”

cossetties:

everydayatleast:

elodin-the-namer:

everydayatleast:

enjolra-s:

Reblog if you want to punch Félix Tholomyès, protect Fantine or tell Cosette that she’s beautiful

Can I also give Èponine a hug

And kiss the top of grantaire’s head while i’m at it

Yes okay perfect

why not all of them at once

Julie Andrews.

micool-and-gavy:

Reblog if you agree

chucktheprophet:

island-delver-go:

stormdriver949:

normalstuffidk:

deerstroyer:

magical-awesome-kid:

xtremefangirling:

we-all-got-scars:

IT’S MARCH

Uh… It’s still May…

It’s august

It’s September

iamthecutestofborg:

Being an adolescent Christian who hasn’t realized she’s ace yet:

“Save yourself for marriage!!! Abstinence is important!!! Don’t have sex!!!”

Me:

prouvaires-paintbrush:

“Yeah, I love Les Amis, there’s-“ *looks at lovingly written calligraphy on hand* “I don’t-I don’t know how to pronounce any of these.”

aroace-and-in-your-face:

Sorry, I don’t swing that way. I don’t swing the other way, either. I’m not even on the swing, actually. I’m just lying on the floor, face down, probably crying. Definitely crying.