Aro culture is when you hear whole white knight in shining armour saving the princess from the big bad dragon tale but thinking of how cool it would be to be the one who defeats AND befriends the dragon. (Knight can come too, you guess. So long as they know YOU are the coolest one here with your new dragon bestie.)
You know what should be a thing, aromantic – polyamourous solidarity. Like I know it seems like I’m talking about things that are completely opposite, but think about it
– both groups reject conventional relationship ideas
– we all don’t believe in the idea of finding that one, single romantic partner that will be more important than anyone else in our lives (whether we don’t want a romantic partner at all or we want multiple, equally important ones)
– referring to above, we all get told one day we will find that person that will make us see the light of monogamous romantic love or whatever
– both polyam people and allosexual aros get shoved into the stereotype of asshole who just wants to sleep around without commitment
– our relationships of choice don’t get the same kind of privileges romantic ones do (whether because we don’t want to marry or because we can’t marry multiple people)
– some people are both aromantic and polyamourous
Idk I just think we could get along
This! This is what I’ve been trying to say! Aro and poly people both have to deal with amatonormativity and we should use that as a foundation for solidarity.
As someone who is both aro and poly, I agree, I think there are lots of areas of overlap and I’d like to see more solidarity with these two communities. I also think the two communities could inform each other quite a bit. Poly concepts of relationship models and intimacy would be very useful for aros seeking to build intimate relationships, and aro understanding of amatonormativity and attraction would be useful for poly people seeking to deconstruct relationship norms and better understand intimacy.
Another aro and poly person here. Amatonormativity weighs both communities down and our views of relationships are very similar. I hope that there is more unity between both communities in the future as we would all benefit from a bit of solidarity!
Another aro and polyam person here! I love everything in this post! ❤
So my conflict is that I love teddy but I hard core ship wolfstar- so here’s how I fixed it in my head.
So, like, Tonks is asexual- never wanted anyone, never needed anyone- wants to be a career girl. And of course Remus is still hung up over Sirius after OoTP- werewolves mate for life. So one night they both have the late watch for the order, and they stay later and get drunk on firewhisky- and they’re just like, “why not experiment?” So they have terrible drunk sex cos Remus has no clue what he’s doing with a girl, and Tonks is just like, “I don’t see what’s so great about it.” And they’re laughing and it’s jus friends fucking around (literally). And the next morning Remus is feeling terrible and Tonks just picks up on it. And she tells Lupin “hey, Sirius wouldn’t feel betrayed that you had terrible drunk sex with your best friend. He’d probably laugh and tell you how to do it better.” And all is well and good until Tonks realises she’s pregnant, and she talks with lupin and he just suggests they live together and get married- it’s not like either of them will ever really fall in love with anyone else. So they get married for propriety’s sake and move in together and of course they survive the war (cos DAMMIT JOANNE, you can’t just kill everyone we love!) and it’s like two bachelors chilling together avec punk child. And everyone who sleeps over at Teddy’s is always asking if his parents are fighting when they go off to separate rooms to sleep, and Teddy’s confused, because like, why would they think that? Remus and Tonks were just hugging and joking and laughing earlier that evening when Teddy and his friends were having dinner. And it takes a while before he learns that most parents sleep together and are romantically inclined and aren’t just two best friends raising a kid. But he wouldn’t have it any other way, because it’s much more relaxed when they’re just friends and there’s no jealousy and no worries if one of them goes out for the night with a mixed group, and no disgusting PDA. But he’s curious about it anyway, so he asks why they don’t act like most couples, so they sit him down explain that mum isn’t romantically inclined and dad lost the love of his life, and all they had left was each other, best friends, so they got together and had Teddy and made their own eccentric little family and they’re happy, because maybe it’s not what they envisioned or wanted at first, but it’s what they have, and it’s enough and they love it’s other
the easiest way to get a good url is to have an aro headcanon. just slap ‘aro’ before literally any character’s name and there’s a 90% chance it isn’t taken. what im saying is, HAVE MORE ARO HEADCANONS YOU COWARDS
When I first realised I was aromantic, I didn’t think I’d been affected by amatonormativity, nor thought I had any internalized aropobia. Guess what? I was wrong. Up until recently I hadn’t really thought about my aro journey in such a way, but I realise now that that was a mistake. When I figured it out I was still in a romantic relationship, and my first thoughts were: “okay so, I’m not comfortable in a romantic relationship, but, I still want a relationship of some sort! I want kids! I want to share my life with someone!”
It took me a while to realise that this wasn’t quite the case, but I assumed that was just me developing into my aromantic identity. I now know that I don’t want a qpr or relationship of any sort, and I’m not 100% set on the kids thing, either. It’s gonna take a lot of work to sort past the amatonormative ramblings of society in my brain, but when I get there, I’ll know that I don’t need anyone to make me whole, and I can be happy and fulfilled alone.
So basically, what I’m trying to say is, arophobia and amatonormativity around us can have a much larger effect than we may acknowledge or even anticipate. Try your best to sort through how you really feel, rather than listening to what society has to say.
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 