Aro-spec characters aren’t boring or two-dimensional and if you write them like that there’s a good chance you’re not doing any of your characters justice! If your characters aren’t compelling on their own then you haven’t given them enough personality! Relationships are supposed to add to characters and the story, not complete incomplete characters.
YEAH BASICALLY alloros are too fragile to examine the societal norms that they personally like aka romance and it’s really embarassing
Tumblr: Let’s kill social norms! Honestly we should just be able to be however we are inside!
Aros: Hey society’s focus on romance hurts everyone, let’s end that. Right tumblr?
Tumblr: New phone who dis
tumblr: we should all analyse the harmful societal norms we ascribe to even if we personally benefit from or enjoy them
aros: ok so can you all reflect on some of the ways you talk about romantic relationships? we know y’all like romance but ouch you’re killing us scoob
tumblr: [cricket noises but somehow angry ones]
this calls for meme
[Image description: A picture of a man captioned “alloros” holding his hand out towards a butterfly captioned “Aros being upset by amatonormativity. Under the entire picture reads the caption “Is this a personal attack?”]
some good ways to know if you’re aromantic or somewhere on the aro spectrum are as follows:
if you’ve never been romantically attracted to anyone (as in seen someone and wanted to date them and do romantic things with them)
if you’re not sure if you’ve ever had a crush on someone
if you’re not sure if you’ve ever been in love
if you have trouble telling the difference between romantic and friendly feelings
if you find romance boring, annoying or upsetting when it appears in fiction, even if it’s well written
if you want a best friend much more than you want a romantic relationship.
if you’ve ever doubted whether crushes or love really exist, or if they’re just cultural constructs
if you have trouble relating, or feeling involved when your friends discuss their romantic relationships or romantic feelings
if falling in love doesn’t seem that exciting or important to you
if you don’t really understand why other people make such a big deal out of having crushes or falling in love
if you have never or rarely had a romantic relationship – not because you can’t get one, but because you just never really bothered to try, or you like being single better
if getting a romantic partner feels more like fulfilling an obligation, or something you’re supposed to do, rather than something you’re really enthusiastic about
if you’re more excited by making a new best friend than by falling in love
if you wouldn’t mind marrying your best friend and spending your life with them, even though you’re not in love with them
if when you discovered the word aromantic it felt like something finally clicked into place for you
if identifying as aromantic makes you feel relieved, free, happy, or more like yourself
I’m Isabel, a member of the aces group in DC. I am a board member and co-founder of The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP), an ace and aro activist group. We’re trying to write a book on asexuality and aromanticism that is geared towards people who work with asexual and/or aromantic people in a professional setting — i.e. mental health professionals, doctors, guidance counselors, volunteers/employees at LGBTQ+ centers, etc.
We aim to make this book representative of a diverse range of experiences, and in order to do that, we are looking for asexual and/or aromantic people who might be willing to take a survey to share their experiences; either in the form of direct quotes or as a reference for our own writing. This is the survey link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdiwnsg0mCDRD3uSN6Z70tarC7O4RbOK2ZRjrE5nCTmX_i4fA/viewform.
I’d be happy to talk to you about this more – you can email TAAAP at asexualawarenessproject@gmail.com.
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