It’s going to be okay. I know it seems like the end of the world. I know you’re scared you will be alone forever. I know you probably did everything you could to force yourself to love somebody like we’re told we should.
You’re not broken. And you’re not a monster.
It’s going to be okay and you’re going to get through this. You’re aromantic and you’re perfect that way.
Coming from your aro buddy here. It’s going to be okay if you discovered that you are aromantic. It will be okay. Even if you’re 100% sure that you are. I know that not all of you are feeling comforted by realizing you’re aro- and why wouldn’t some of us be unhappy? Society puts so much pressure on youth to seek out love and emphasizes so much that romantic love is what makes us human, that its easy to forget that its possible to be happy without it. Its easy to slip into the mindset that you are either never going to be happy, or that you are not human at all.
You can be happy without it. Its possible to live a meaningful life without a romantic partner. And you don’t need a romantic partner to know that you are not alone.
So figuring out the difference between whether you’re experiencing romantic attraction, QP attraction or alterous attraction can be really tricky for a couple reasons. A major one is that we’ve all grown up being taught over and over again that any attraction=romantic attraction and means we have to want to date them. And it’s really hard to break that association.
There’s a similar thing to this with sexual attraction, but unlike romantic attraction, sexual attraction is a lot more straight forward to explain/describe. Romantic attraction on the other hand tends to have this ineffable quality. and often gets described as ‘you’ll know it when you feel it’. Which makes it a bit harder to pinpoint.
The other issue is that romantic attraction, QP attraction and alterous attraction can all have similar symptoms. (Thinking about the person you’re attracted to a lot, being nervous around them, thinking they’re really interesting, etc.)
So the first step to figuring out if you’re experiencing romantic attraction or not is breaking that association of attraction=romantic attraction. You’ve already figured out that your attraction may not be romantic, which is the first step, but it honestly just takes time.
Try and ask yourself honestly, what’s your idea situation with this person. Is it being really close/being really important to them? But being completely satisfied if the relationship is entirely platonic? (Common with QP attraction)
Is it having a very strong emotional bond, and it either doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or platonic, or you’d like something that’s something in between or defies labels? (Common with alterous attraction)
When you fantasize about being with this person, do you naturally drift towards scenarios that you personally would consider romantic? Is it important to you that you do romantic things with them? (Common with romantic attraction)
Reading up on QP attraction and alterous attraction, especially the experiences of people who experience them, can be really useful too.
The other thing is that there are also a few labels for people who can’t distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction, or just kind of occupies that area between the two. Some of the better known labels that fall under this:
Quoiromantic (great write-up here) is probably the most common, but there’s also idemromantic (someone who categorizes relationshionships and feelings as platonic or romantic, but feels no internal difference between the two), platoniromantic (someone who feels no difference between romantic and platonic attraction) and schromantic (someone who feels like the attraction they experience is both romantic and platonic at the same time or is a mix of the two), which all might be worth looking into too.
Remember you can also be both demi and be any of the listed labels above too.
And it is absolutely fine using the ♠️ symbol for follow-up questions.
I’m slowly claiming all the reptiles as aro culture and no one can stop me
*whispers* Turtles? Aro culture
I am absolutely 100% supporting you in this
Getting in frogs too? Great. I love frogs. And I’m totally getting a tortoise and like 3 lizards and maybe one day a big noodle
That’s a beautiful goal to have
We automatically get dragons, snakes and crocodiles.
An obvious fact
And salamanders.
I know those are amphibians, but I’m aro, I like them, therefore, aro culture.
Flawless logic there
From now on, anything and everything an aro person likes automatically becomes aro culture
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh goldfish are aro culture now
My 17 succulents approve
17????? I only have one and I can barely keep it alive
I admire you
All they do is stand on my table and they get a bit left over water once in a while. And they just… Multiplied. Because eversince I said that I wanted a cactus people have been gifting me cactee. But it’s valid. I love them
You have become a succulent parent now
The only family I’ve ever wanted… They grow so well. And they have names
Please tell us their names I am begging you
Alright buckle up buddy I’m giving you names AND pictures
This is Zyrus and he’s my favorite
Then there’s
Leo, Elise, Mari and Xander
A bit unstable but trying, Krumm and Klein
This is peaches
Violet, Purple and Blue
On the left is cookie, on the right is Karl
Rose, Red, Round and Ouch
This is Tea
That’s Muffin
And lastly
Zwerg
I love each and every one of them…
Awwwww they love you back
They send spiky hugs
These!!!! I love fat stupid fish
I made… Another one
I agree that stupid fat fish are wonderful, and so are super round little fat birbs
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 