me, thinking about romance between other people: OH MY GOD. BABIES. MY HEART. MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH. FUCK. I AM DYING. LOOK AT THEM. I AM DEAD AND GONE HH O LY S HIT THROW ME OUT A WINDOW
me, thinking about romance involving myself: ew wtf no
sometimes i just. forget how big of a deal it is that i can wake up in the morning to say “i’m so aroace” and smile.
because three years ago i definitely wasn’t smiling. i hated just the thought of it so much and i spent two years denying it vehemently, cycling through labels. it was such a negative thought to me and i don’t know if it was societal emphasis on romance, my own self-image, or a mixture of both.
so here’s to the aroaces who are still figuring themselves out. to the aroaces who spent years fighting with themselves over their identity. the aroaces who didn’t have the words for how they felt until recently. to the aroaces who have struggled and continue to struggle with their identity and self-image. to the aroaces who have known for years but still occasionally struggle.
it’s a never ending cycle of acceptance. there will always be people who don’t understand or don’t want to. but that won’t matter in the end, because we’re all so fucking aroace, and i love you all so much.
The thing about being aromantic is that there aren’t really any role models out there, no one in the spotlight who we can point to and say, “look, they did it, they made a life for themselves as an aromantic person.” There’s no clear picture of what the future of an aromantic person might look like. There’s really no one in the spotlight who’s been living as a proud aromantic for YEARS to provide advice or guidance.
Because it’s a fairly new label compared to many others, and we’re a fairly small and invisible community of people, we don’t really have any representation and so it can be hard to look forward to a future of being aromantic. In fact, it can be kind of scary, especially when people around you begin to couple up and you don’t, and today can be an awful reminder of that.
But try to think of it this way: you can shape your future into whatever you want it to be. Just because the possibilities may seem murky, scary, or out of reach, doesn’t mean they aren’t endless. You, as an arospec person, deserve a fulfilling life, and you get to decide what that means for you. People who try to tell you that a romantic relationship is crucial to that fulfillment are lying to you and they don’t get to decide how your life is going to turn out.
Don’t give up hope. Some day, we all have the power to become those role models. So persevere, with the hopes that even if the future for us is unclear, you can provide guidance for future aromantics years down the line.
Worst fear: finding out that I really am just a late bloomer or something and I’m no longer asexual/aromantic and having to tell everyone and them being like told ya it was just a phase therefore giving people more “proof” asexuality/aromanticism doesn’t exist gah
the thing is, it’s okay if it’s just a phase. It doesn’t give people “proof” because there are still millions out there who are aro/ace. If it is “just a phase”, it doesn’t matter, because aro/ace is how you identify right now, and people should respect that. And if you change your mind some day, people should respect that too
You’re my fav kind of human
I had this post in mind where Childhood is just a phase, but nobody constantly belittles it or says it’s worthless and it’s a really great thought but I just can’t find the right words y’all.
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 