idk if artemis fowl should even be made into a movie, whether or not they follow the books and make good casting choices (which they wont)
but I read those books in like 5th grade so I forget a lot of what happened but what I DO remember is the fucking dwarves being able to unhinge their jaws and eating dirt and shitting it out so fast that they can just… burrow?? and then they can stick to walls with their pores that get as big as pinheads if they dont drink or something like that???
I think I would straight up die if I saw that shit in a movie. thats instant death there
The casting call for Artemis Fowl described him as a boy with a “fun-loving, open heart” so you knew before they even landed their eyes on the first mediocre white person the movie was irretrievably fucked
The casting call described him as what now
last i checked back in 6th grade, artemis was a fuckin dick of a child
“emotional intelligence” artemis fowl literally would rather die than express an emotion
im pretty sure he actually has on multiple occassions
im reblogging this again because i just remembered that artemis fowl hates being a Human Being With Feelings so much that he emotionally and mentally devastated *several* psychologists so badly that they gave up the profession, just because he didn’t want to admit that his father being declared dead and his mother falling into severe untreated mental illness such that she couldn’t recognize him on most days might, maybe, have upset him a little.
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 