Hey props to all the ace/aro people who put up with the nasty anti-ace/aro stuff on this website, y’all are braver than any US marine and deserve all the respect in the world
Tag: asexual
Hey, we just wanted to provide a few of asexual/romantic articles we have written so that all of you have a rebuttal ready if any aphobe comes at you saying that “asexuals haven’t historically been a part of the queer community”
The Golden Orchid– An order of lesbians, asexuals, aromantics, and women who didn’t want to get married to the men their family picked our for them looking out for each other.
Langston Hughes: the Poet – A take on the famous poets sexual and romantic orientation, considering that maybe both sides are right in a way.
Christina, the King of Sweden– Someone on the asexual spectrum who was one of the most interesting figures we have covered
More recent articles:
Early Asexual Feminists: The Asexual History of Social Purity Activists and Spinsters
I’m sitting in my mythology class the other day, and the professor is going over the 12 main Gods and Goddesses, and when he gets to Athena he said, “And this is Athena, and she is an asexual.” He then proceeded to mention how even though sex was a big part of Greek culture back then, everyone respected her asexuality, so no one tried anything on her.
Acephobia in the LGBT+ Community from the documentary (A)sexuality.
It is just…so fucking weird how threatened people feel when it comes to Asexuality. I still can’t wrap my mind around it.
I’m so happy this post is being reblogged by LBGT+ people who aren’t asexual. I keep on reading posts by non-ace LGBT+ people of support to the ace community, and of being stunned by this reaction by a movement which should know better than to judge. AND THAT MAKES THIS ACE SO FREAKING HAPPY. The woman in the first photo expresses my sentiment. I know I belong in the queer/LGBTQIA movement. I want to belong. But I just don’t know if I’m welcome. I’m so happy that there are so many people on Tumblr who do not fall into the catagory of outright refusal of asexuality.
I know not a lot of people understand asexuality. And I know there’s confusion about it, about our experiences, and about how we fit in the movement. But let’s talk about this. Let’s have this conversation.
I mostly don’t delve into the ace tags, but I hear there’s a lot of ace-hate that and I really don’t get it. I don’t understand how asexuality is threatening.
You know what I (as a queer ace-spectrum person) find most threatening? Getting unwanted sexual unwanted advances from both queer and straight people. I’ve gotten them from people of all spectrums and it always makes me profoundly uncomfortable, and often unsafe. It just boggles my mind how people are upset by the concept of asexuality. That’s like getting really mad at someone who isn’t hungry. What’s the point? Just shut up eat your own sandwich. (And stop chewing on me.)
Wow, the fuck the people in those images.
Nobody has the right to disrespect anybody else’s sense of self. It may not be for, you but that does not give you the right to be an asshole.
We really need to push more for LGBTQIA+ to be a standard, instead of just LGBT, especially considering that even the B and T are already invisible in much of the community.
Not supporting some of us = not supporting all of us.
something ive been thinking abt re: the discorse recently
a lot of exclusionists talk about how aros and aces shouldn’t be allowed at pride because pride is (in part) a celebration of queer sexual expression. It’s an event where many people are open and proud about being sexually attracted to the same gender or experiencing sexuality in unconventional ways, and I agree thats not something anyone should want to take away from.
However people forget, pride is also about breaking down cis-heteronormativity, and that includes fighting for our ability to not consent to heterosexual sex and relationships.
We are born into a society that tells us from birth that in order to be happy, we must seek relationships with the “opposite” gender, get married, and have heterosexual sex to connsummate the marriage and procreate. There is a huge pressure to participate in heterosexual sex and relationships, to the point that many queer people perform such a relationship for years if they are not given the proper education and space to be themselves. Pride is about leading by example, about showing people it’s ok to not only desire same-gender relationships, but to refuse the cishet relationship model. Its about undoing the harm of a society that expects you to consent to its terms before you can even read the contract.
So, what’s this have to do with aspecs? Well, in a cis-heterosexual society, sex and romance has always been part of that contract.
Aces and aros are also celebrating their ability to not consent to this relationship model. We are growing up in this society too, and we are being told we MUST consent to a relationship model that includes forms of attraction we largely don’t experience, and performing acts we largely don’t desire. Even if some of us want heterosexual sex or relationships, we cannot perform them to cishet standards, because we don’t experience the attraction that everyone is assumed is inherint to us since birth. We are out here telling people like us that it is ok to refuse sex or romance, that it’s ok to say no to things you don’t desire. And in the process, we want to own ourselves again. We want to be proud of our identity, because its so easy to only define yourself by what society thinks you lack. We want to tell others like us that we are only different, and that our experiences and points of veiw hold value and are something to be celebrated.
But we have to stop this nonsense that pride is only about celebrating the ability to say yes. Pride is also about saying no, because if we cannot safely refuse society’s expectations, we cannot truly be ourselves.
That scene where Archie is all “I’m not gunna apologise for being a NORMAL guy” and Jughead’s head just whips round to glare at him and he looks so hurt is honestly iconic?? like so many ace and aro people can relate to that we have all been Jughead in a conversation/argument like that and it’s so validating to see it it comic form. like honestly the Jughead comics are such a gift.
Found this on the Asexual ACES FB page and it seemed helpful since this can get confusing.
Okay, we all love and praise asexual Enjolras but I would like to know what are your thoughts on asexual R?
Why not though?
- Remember all those stories Grantaire tells about his sexcapades and all the sex he’s getting? Well…
- He lives in a world in which sex is omnipresent. Tv shows, movies, advertisement, conversations… Sex sells, and he can’t escape it.
- And maybe he is getting a lot of sex. A lot of one night stands, physical experiences. Because he heard that if he doesn’t like sex, something must be wrong with him, right? He’s a man, men like sex, that’s all men think about right? He needs to get more to actually want it, right?
- Needless to say all those ideas and social pressure fucked him and his self-esteem up, like he couldn’t find a way to “fix” himself
- Then came les Amis and Enjolras. And for all the compliments and comments Grantaire made about Enjolras’ beauty, it was all from an aesthetic stand point. He’s an artist. He can recognise beauty when it stares at him.
- But Enjolras totally believed Grantaire was sexually attracted to him.
- So when they started dating and making out for the first time, things got a bit heated, as in the kissing and cuddling got intense, and they both pulled away at the same time
- “Listen, there’s something-”
- “-need to tell you-“
- They looked at each other, confused, and lost and awkward. Until Enjolras took a deep breath.
- “I’m not into sex. And I know I should have been upfr-”
- “I don’t like sex either.”
- They looked at each other, burst out laughing, and went back to cuddling and making out
- They’re pretty much acing that dating thing
there’s a definite lingering feeling of brokenness and loss I still have from when I realized I was aroace? I spent such a long time being like “…wait…maybe I have a romantic orientation…it’ll show up…someday…” but at least for now that hasn’t happened, and might never, and even though I have literally zero interest in any kind of sexual or romantic relationship in practice, the culture of love stories still makes me feel like I’m giving up The Most Important Thing Ever In My Life simply by realizing I don’t want it.
When I tell people I’ve never had a crush on anyone and probably never will, they are usually like, “Well…you’re not missing much, actually. Crushes suck. Relationships suck.” And yet everything is built on love and crushes and attraction and sex. Movies, books, people shipping characters together, tumblr posts starting with “imagine your crush…”, plays, every song ever – give me something, please, that shows me that I can experience all the sweetness and tragedy life has to offer without ever kissing anyone once, without “gentle caresses” or staring deep into someone’s dark eyes. Give me something that shows me I can live a full life without love or sex – that I’ll be an old lady one day with three cats and zero regrets. Give me something that shows me I’m not broken.
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 