the stereotype that asexual people are childlike because we dont feel sexual attraction is pretty damaging because it is once again insinuating that in order to be a fully functioning adult you have to feel sexual attraction and if you dont youre obviously immature and lesser as a person
any other aroaces have a Weird relationship w gender, esp womanhood?
like ik mine’s already extra complicated bc im nonbinary (like idk im simultaneously part woman and absolutely not a woman at all. and also ive had years of thinking i was a woman and still get called one?).
but even (at least i think) unrelated to that, i’ve always felt weird about looking “girly” because i didn’t want men to look at me as romantically/sexually. so i’d dress masc to try and make me not seem available to them (and also to fit my gender identity- two birds one stone). or i’d go a brand of cutesy but very non-conventionally-attractive girly when i was too nervous to dress masc
like kinda vaguely related to how i’ve heard some butches describe their relationship to womanhood (but not exactly!!! bc theirs involves not only not being interested in men but ALSO being interested in women instead. and that second part adds a whole new note to their experience which i dont experience personally and will not claim to). bc of how much womanhood is related to being available to men (and also being unavailable to women. but, yknow, that part doesn’t quite apply to me)
So my conflict is that I love teddy but I hard core ship wolfstar- so here’s how I fixed it in my head.
So, like, Tonks is asexual- never wanted anyone, never needed anyone- wants to be a career girl. And of course Remus is still hung up over Sirius after OoTP- werewolves mate for life. So one night they both have the late watch for the order, and they stay later and get drunk on firewhisky- and they’re just like, “why not experiment?” So they have terrible drunk sex cos Remus has no clue what he’s doing with a girl, and Tonks is just like, “I don’t see what’s so great about it.” And they’re laughing and it’s jus friends fucking around (literally). And the next morning Remus is feeling terrible and Tonks just picks up on it. And she tells Lupin “hey, Sirius wouldn’t feel betrayed that you had terrible drunk sex with your best friend. He’d probably laugh and tell you how to do it better.” And all is well and good until Tonks realises she’s pregnant, and she talks with lupin and he just suggests they live together and get married- it’s not like either of them will ever really fall in love with anyone else. So they get married for propriety’s sake and move in together and of course they survive the war (cos DAMMIT JOANNE, you can’t just kill everyone we love!) and it’s like two bachelors chilling together avec punk child. And everyone who sleeps over at Teddy’s is always asking if his parents are fighting when they go off to separate rooms to sleep, and Teddy’s confused, because like, why would they think that? Remus and Tonks were just hugging and joking and laughing earlier that evening when Teddy and his friends were having dinner. And it takes a while before he learns that most parents sleep together and are romantically inclined and aren’t just two best friends raising a kid. But he wouldn’t have it any other way, because it’s much more relaxed when they’re just friends and there’s no jealousy and no worries if one of them goes out for the night with a mixed group, and no disgusting PDA. But he’s curious about it anyway, so he asks why they don’t act like most couples, so they sit him down explain that mum isn’t romantically inclined and dad lost the love of his life, and all they had left was each other, best friends, so they got together and had Teddy and made their own eccentric little family and they’re happy, because maybe it’s not what they envisioned or wanted at first, but it’s what they have, and it’s enough and they love it’s other
Or, you know, just watch it for fun. The idea behind this was to create a video you could send to friends/family, to get all the basic questions and confusions out of the way. Because unfortunately, coming out as asexual often comes with having to explain what asexuality even is.
I’m playing around with how I want these videos, please bear with me as I experiment with sound/background music/content.
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