awkward when you have a ship full of gay pirates encountering a puzzle with a heteronormative answer.
See I want to know Ragetti’s backstory because of lines like these. I wonder how a man who seems to have been a philosophy student ended up a pirate who plays down his book learning and tells Pintel he can’t read – or was his father the student, and as a boy he picked up big words like ‘dichotomy’ but couldn’t sign his name to save his life? The Ragetti who Barbossa chose as guardian of one of the Nine Pieces of Eight, who is perhaps more consistently loyal to Pintel than Will is to Elizabeth, who casually analyzes a three-way fight between pirates like someone who’s studied Shakespeare, who at one point speaks more gently and honestly to the goddess of the ocean than any other character (“you’re not saying it right, you have to say it right.”), whose first reaction to a ship capsizing is ‘tie ourselves to the mast upside down’ and who sailed to Davy Jones’ Locker just to see Jack again… what is his story?
Enough Johnny Depp, I want to see a Ragetti-centric PotC prequel!
the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore
who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”
at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it
*stands majestically in a bucket*
ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in
It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.
Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.
The parley takes place on a sandbar – which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.
What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?
“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”
What I am saying is that there must have been a process.
Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse – a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.
It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) – yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.
Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.
Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it – I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.
okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands.
can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?
This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.
could he step on land if his shoes are wet?
No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this
What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?
can he be in a wheelbarrow?
What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?
What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?
European swallows or African swallows?
They could grip him by the tentacles.
wait, he’s only, like, ten feet away from the water, why would he not just stand there
I love this because you have Elizabeth who couldn’t even defend herself in the first one to becoming this master sword fighter and leader of ALL pirates. You watch Will who was just this angsty little brat head over heels for Elizabeth become this grown man who faced all his demons.
and then there’s Jack
“Elizabeth who couldn’t even defend herself”
Do you mean…
Elizabeth who improvised a weapon when pirates invaded her bedroom
Elizabeth who could have run for the exits but instead went straight for the swords
Elizabeth who demanded to speak with a pirate captain and then used the leverage she had to get him to agree to her demands
Elizabeth who CAME AT BARBOSSA WITH A GODDAMN KNIFE and then fucking STABBED HIM when she couldn’t get away
Elizabeth who was trapped on a tiny island with nothing but crates of rum and a man she couldn’t stand and who used those supplies to summon a rescue party for herself
Elizabeth who made a rope out of sheets and climbed down the back of a ship to save the day herself when no one would listen to her about how dangerous the pirates were
Elizabeth who snuck onto the Black Pearl, knocked two cursed pirates straight off their ship, and rescued Jack’s entire crew
Elizabeth who rowed straight back into danger without any backup instead of running away with everyone else
Elizabeth who came to Will’s rescue with a blunt object and a one-liner
Elizabeth who proceeded to team up with Will to take down all the remaining pirates in the cave
Elizabeth who – without being asked or told what was going on – faked unconsciousness to create a distraction for Will’s rescue of Jack
Elizabeth who stepped in front of a ring of muskets, successfully protecting Jack and Will from being shot or captured
Elizabeth may have learned some impressive sword tricks in the later movies, but she was a Badass from day one.
preach
Elizabeth Swann is a queen.
LET’S ALSO HOLD UP ON CALLING WILL AN ‘ANGSTY LITTLE BRAT’
1. He was abandoned by his father, then orphaned, and grew up without his parents from a very young age. WOW CAN YOU BLAME HIM FOR BEING A LITTLE ANGSTY?
2. His father was a pirate…which was criminal…which was punishable by DEATH. any association to Will being a pirate would have threatened him being arrested and put in jail OR WORSE and at the very least ostracized by society–WHICH WAS WHY ELIZABETH TOOK HIS MEDALLION TO PROTECT HIM. BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS A PIRATE AND DIDN’T WANT ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO HIM (sidenote: True Love since day one ya’ll)
3. He was angsty because he was in love with Elizabeth and because of the vast difference in status…he was probably never going to be able to marry her on the merits of being a blacksmith alone. She was the governor’s daughter…basically a princess. Even though they grew up together and her father took in Will–it was the 1700s or whatever–a match like that being made was pretty much impossible
BUT
EVEN IF WILL COULDN’T MARRY OR BE WITH ELIZABETH HE STILL RISKED HIS LIFE AND CROSSED THE CARIBBEAN TO GO SAVE ELIZABETH. BECAUSE HE LOVED HER. HE LOVED HER SO MUCH HE SET ASIDE HIS PRIDE AND HIS HATRED TO GET A PIRATE’S HELP TO SAVE HER. HE STOLE A BOAT! HE COULD BE SENT TO PRISON FOR BREAKING JACK OUT OF PRISON AND FOR STEALING A BOAT AND HE DID IT ALL TO SAVE ELIZABETH.
WITHOUT EVEN THE PROMISE OF GETTING TO BE WITH HER AFTER ALL THIS. HE JUST WANTED TO SAVE HER. HE WOULD HAVE DIED FOR HER.
4. WILL KNEW HOW TO PUT UP A DAMN FIGHT SINCE DAY ONE. HE PRACTICED SWORDFIGHTING 3 HOURS A DAY. JACK ONLY ‘WON’ THE FIGHT BECAUSE HE CHEATED.
WHEN THE PIRATES INVADED PORT ROYAL, HE LOCKED UP SHOP, TOOK HIS SMALL WEAPONS AND STRAIGHT UP AXED SOME PIRATES. IF THEY WEREN’T CURSED HE WOULD HAVE MURDERED THEM. LIKE. HE WASN’T PLAYING AROUND. HE WAS PROTECTING HIS HOME AND COMMUNITY.
SO… ‘ANGSTY LITTLE BRAT’???? BECAUSE HE WANTED TO FIGHT FAIR AND NOT BE ASSOCIATED TO THE DISGRACEFUL OCCUPATION THAT HIS FATHER LEFT HIM AND HIS MOTHER FOR (WHICH LEFT LONG-TERM EMOTIONAL SCARS AND SELF DEPRECATION), MEANWHILE PUTTING ASIDE HIS PRIDE AND HIS ISSUES TO TEAM UP WITH A PIRATE WHO HAD QUESTIONABLE ULTERIOR MOTIVES FOR HELPING HIM JUST TO GO SAVE THE GIRL HE LOVED EVEN IF HE COULD NEVER BE WITH HER ROMANTICALLY???
ANGSTY LITTLE BRAT MY ASS.
WILL HAS ALWAYS BEEN BEST BOY.
ANYWAY WILL AND ELIZABETH WERE THE BEST CHARACTERS IN POTC AND JACK SPARROW AIN’T SHIT.
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