You know what should be a thing, aromantic – polyamourous solidarity. Like I know it seems like I’m talking about things that are completely opposite, but think about it
– both groups reject conventional relationship ideas
– we all don’t believe in the idea of finding that one, single romantic partner that will be more important than anyone else in our lives (whether we don’t want a romantic partner at all or we want multiple, equally important ones)
– referring to above, we all get told one day we will find that person that will make us see the light of monogamous romantic love or whatever
– both polyam people and allosexual aros get shoved into the stereotype of asshole who just wants to sleep around without commitment
– our relationships of choice don’t get the same kind of privileges romantic ones do (whether because we don’t want to marry or because we can’t marry multiple people)
– some people are both aromantic and polyamourous
Idk I just think we could get along
This! This is what I’ve been trying to say! Aro and poly people both have to deal with amatonormativity and we should use that as a foundation for solidarity.
As someone who is both aro and poly, I agree, I think there are lots of areas of overlap and I’d like to see more solidarity with these two communities. I also think the two communities could inform each other quite a bit. Poly concepts of relationship models and intimacy would be very useful for aros seeking to build intimate relationships, and aro understanding of amatonormativity and attraction would be useful for poly people seeking to deconstruct relationship norms and better understand intimacy.
Another aro and poly person here. Amatonormativity weighs both communities down and our views of relationships are very similar. I hope that there is more unity between both communities in the future as we would all benefit from a bit of solidarity!
Another aro and polyam person here! I love everything in this post! ❤
Tag: polyamory
polyamory is neither inherently abusive or radical it’s literally just dating multiple people at once. this has pros and cons and risk factors specific to it just like monogamy does. that’s it. not that deep, no need to apply all sorts of symbolism to it
It’s not radical in the sense that “everyone should do this to change the world”. It is radical in that it challenges something so ingrained in society that hardly anyone sees how problematic it is. Monogamy is default. Monogany is glorified. Non-monogamy is vilified and choosing it marks us. In that sense it isn’t “just dating multiple people”. When you date one person you have endless models and support and you can turn to nearly anyone and talk about hardships and ask for advice. A person choosing non-monogamy has a relationship that is automatically viewed as bad. If I go to councelling with one partner, I need to hide the other. Otherwise the other partner’s existence is viewed as a symptom of a bad relationship. When my father heard about my girlfriend, his response was “I hope you get well soon”. He literally sees this as a sickness.
Polyamory isn’t better or worse than monogamy.
But it is more difficult. Not inherently. But because you’re choosing a path less people walk and you’re choosing struggles you hardly see resolved and you need to reimagine your relationship and build it without a model.
Non-monogamy shouldn’t be radical. But when you challenge something so rooted in the way society works and thinks, I think it is.
I’m reblogging this again because it’s so profound
You know what should be a thing, aromantic – polyamourous solidarity. Like I know it seems like I’m talking about things that are completely opposite, but think about it
– both groups reject conventional relationship ideas
– we all don’t believe in the idea of finding that one, single romantic partner that will be more important than anyone else in our lives (whether we don’t want a romantic partner at all or we want multiple, equally important ones)
– referring to above, we all get told one day we will find that person that will make us see the light of monogamous romantic love or whatever
– both polyam people and allosexual aros get shoved into the stereotype of asshole who just wants to sleep around without commitment
– our relationships of choice don’t get the same kind of privileges romantic ones do (whether because we don’t want to marry or because we can’t marry multiple people)
– some people are both aromantic and polyamourous
Idk I just think we could get along
Yes I live for this
Anon, I found the post!
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 