thoodleoo:

the aeneid

• does their best but constantly fucks up
• walking anxiety attack
• just wants to go home

the poetry of catullus

• constantly makes ‘greedy bisexual’ jokes about themself
• always either crying or screaming
• has at least 10 playlists dedicated to their bad breakups

cicero’s orations

• never shuts up
• really smart but also really smug
• saltier than the dead sea

horace’s odes

• party hoe and proud
• always talking about death
• gets angry about literally everything but forgets about it in like 3 minutes

ovid’s metamorphosis

• myth hoe
• into pictures of ancient statues with pastel filters
• probably a little bit furry

the satyricon

• gay and makes sure everyone knows it
• 70% weird aesthetic posts, 20% porn, 10% weird aesthetic porn
• sends texts at 4 am that make absolutely no sense

martial’s epigrams

• mean and proud
• walking disaster
• has dirt on literally everyone

the lives of the 12 caesars

• god tier bullshitter
• never stops gossiping
• fact check? don’t know her