sexulization:

STAGE CREW

Shout out to the stage crew who is so under appreciated

Shout out to the stage crew who is the reason the entire show exists

Shout out to the stage crew who is constantly disrespected by the cast but is able to put all bad blood aside to do their job well

Shout out to the stage crew who is given last minute changes from the director

Shout out to the stage crew who gets no recognition at all

Shout out to the stage crew who gets left out and uninvited to the cast parties

Shout out to the stage crew who’s names go unknown by eveyone else outside of stage crew because no one bothers or cares to know their names

Shout out to stage crew who are the first ones to arrive and the last ones to leave

Shout out to the stage crew who constantly thinks about quitting because the cast is so disrespectful towards them

Shout out to the stage crew who has had multiple breakdowns because the director only gave them two tech rehearsals

Shout out to the stage crew who is irreplaceable

Shout out to the stage crew

Your job is the most important part of theatre productions

eposettemyass:

one thing that has always bothered me about theatre, and broadway especially, is that ever since i was little theatre has always been “a girl’s things”. it’s shown as girly and young boys who are interested in theatre are assumed to be gay or are made fun of. and yet, in major theatre productions, you hardly ever see women. women aren’t known producers, they aren’t recognized playwrights and composers, and plays- mostly musicals- hardly ever have more than two female characters in the spotlight. it’s yet another “girl’s thing” that’s dominated by men.

page264:

theliteraryluggage:

iwritethemworlds:

falkon8888:

bookgirl91:

weasley-number-ten:

doctorwhoslostcompanion:

sarahviehmann:

squidspawn:

andthereisnotragedyinthat:

whereismyvillage:

fat-hippie:

cinder-ember:

sammywhatammy:

redheadeddisneyfreak:

sheriffwxy:

totalspiffage:

soulpunchftw:

agatharights:

musicofthestage:

crutchiee:

tbbackus:

lucasbieneke:

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

This is wild from start to finish

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show. 

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night: 

Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise – apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.

I was in Twelfth Night during high school and we were lucky enough to have identical twin girls playing Viola and Sebastian. Due to the blocking in the first half of the play, their characters didn’t appear on stage together but rather almost consecutively one after the other for a majority of the first act.

It was awesome because when people saw the play and didn’t know the girls were identical twins, it literally looked like it was one actor doing multiple, uber fast costume changes.

One of our first performances was for our peers and it was a big school so lots of people didn’t know the twins. This – for some reason – was also the performance they chose to record.

Listening to the confusion of the audience during the playback was fantastic and completely topped by the moment Viola walked off stage left just as Sebastian walked on stage right and someone right beside the camera goes “OH WHAT THE FUCK” so loudly it drowned out everything else.

The best thing? That was the copy of the play that was made available for purchase by family and parents. Haha.

Oh my god. I went to one of the Spiderman shows where he flew out above the audience and then got stuck and had to awkwardly hang there for about 10 minutes, but these stories are brilliant.

okay so, my senior year of high school and I’m part of the stage crew for Peter Pan. There’s a scene where Hook and Smee are searching for Peter and the Lost Boys. Now the theater department at my high school isn’t very well funded (in the southern USA, football is king), so the sets we managed to make were pretty kickass for the money we had. We had a structure painted like a big tree stump for the entrance to the Lost Boys’ hideout. You could climb to the top of it, but also go inside it through a trap door that we kept locked up during most of the play.

It’s like our third show and everything has been going surprisingly well. Hook and Smee climb to the top of the “tree trunk”, supposedly looking for Peter and not knowing they’re standing above his hiding spot the whole time.

Turns out someone didn’t close the trapdoor properly, because the second Hook steps on it, he plunges through the thing. He’s able to catch himself, but he’s got his ass and one leg dangling through this hole where it’s like a ten foot drop to the ground. All of us stage crew are literally two feet away from him offstage, just gaping at him because???? Y’all this fall looked BAD. Looked like my dude did the splits in mid air. The whiplash caused his fucking wig to come off. The audience is dead silent, all of us backstage are dead silent, the director is like already looking up how to treat a broken groin.

The kid who was playing Hook was like a fuckin sophomore and he KILLED it. He gave himself a second to catch his breath, never broke character, just looked up at his castmate and growled “Smee, you fool, help me up!”. He ended up playing off the wig thing as an embarrassing comedic bit for Hook, and the play went on. He was completely fine. It was the best thing I’d ever seen.

There was an infamous performance of the opera Don Giovanni where in the last act Giovanni was suppose to be dragged into hell via trapdoor but the overweight actor got stuck, leading someone from the audience to shout: “Hey everyone, Hell’s full!!” 

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before but the Lefou story has me in tears every time.

As someone who did Tech stuff in High school for 4 years, Lefou!

I was a costumer on a stage version of Titanic, and in the scene where the women and children are getting in the lifeboats, one of the men (who was supposed to be saying goodbye to his wife he knows he will never see again because his is about to die), realized his fake mustache was falling off and instead of playing it cool… he rips it off his face, and hands it to his wife with the line “Something to remember me by”…it was the funniest thing that I have ever seen in my 8 years in theatre, the entire cast lost their shit laughing at the most dramatic moment possible

While doing 9 to 5 we had a few things that were crucial in the end of act 1. First the lights needed to dim so we could harness the actor playing Hart and Second we had to have a box drop into view with a step ladder and screwdriver to show Violet hooking up the garage door opener to the harness. This had several issues but for the most part had been managed well until the Friday night show. When the lights were cut in the background so the actor could get harnessed the lighting team accidentally turned them all on full for a second revealing the poor actor in halfway getting strapped in. Then the screwdriver and step ladder didn’t appear so the girl playing Doralee marched off stage and brought on the ladder, the screwdriver was as nowhere to be found. So Judy took out a hair pin and Violet made do with that. The entire thing was a mess that was salvaged by our three leading ladies. Needless to say stage management were not impressed and everyone got a proper telling off in crew

I was in high school theater playing Mr DePinna in You Can’t Take It With You. There’s a scene where my character was supposed to be posing in a toga for the Mrs to paint him. Well on parent and student night there was a flaw in my costume and my toga opened up revealing my bright blue boxers to the whole audience. Luckily the family is quirky and it fit the character easily enough that it wasn’t hard to maintain character. I was happy that they fixed the costume for the rest of the shows though.

This is the quality content i signed up for

I love this post so much, every time it rolls around there’s new wonderful stories on it. The Lion King and Lefou ones had me in tears.

My high school drama club was a wonderful mess that essentially made it a study in improv.

They did The Wizard of Oz and for the closing song cue, Dorothy says “I feel like singing!”. But no one had cued up the music. A solid 30 seconds later, everyone is standing stock still, waiting, and Dorothy turns to look up at the tech both and says “I really DO feel singing!” And the music finally starts to play.

Then they did Hairspray. Towards the end in one of the really big dance numbers, the guy playing Mrs. Turnblad accidentally kicked his shoe off into the crowd and some guy caught it. Mrs. Turnblad kicks the other one off into the wings and finishes her scene. At the end of the play, as everyone is bowing, this actor (still in character) mimes “call me” to the guy still holding his shoes, and when all the other actors leave the stage he runs into the audience and grabs it from him, gives him a wink, and dances back up the aisle, finishing the play with a bang.

Lastly, they did Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. There were a great many fuck ups requiring Wonka to improvise many many wonderful lines, but by far my favorite was at the end when he tells Charlie he’s won. The music swells and- it’s the wrong song entirely. And no one in tech notices. But the actors and the audience do. So Wonka says “that’s not the music I’d play for a finale. Just saying.” And the music stops abruptly. And Wonka proceeds to tell Charlie increasingly ridiculous maintenance tips for the factory. He’s just explaining how the Oompa Loompas only clean on Tuesdays when the music swells again with no warning. The correct music this time. And Wonka claps like a gleeful child and says “Now THAT’S a finale!”

And then there was the time I saw Wicked and Glinda’s bubble wouldn’t descend so the cast just had to keep telling us “she’s still coming!” I promise she’s coming!” And “Any second now…” until they fixed it several minutes later.

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

another time when I was probably 13 I was playing Chip in this really spectacular production of Beauty and the Beast and even though I had to be constantly reminded back stage to Shut Up, I took acting Very Seriously my obnoxious 13-year-old behavior never made it out of the wings

except this one time when Bell’s dad Maurice had just escaped the wolves at the beginning of the show and Lumière and the other furniture sat him down and welcomed him and they wheeled me over in my cart to give him a cup of tea and idk WHY bc we’d done this scene 1 million times before but I wasn’t mic’d and when Maurice  took a “sip” out of what was literally my head I quietly gurgled “aeEEEeeee my brains”

and only he heard it and I really fucked him up and took him a while to recover

was worried I wouldn’t be able to find a photo of me in all my glory but here it is

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.

His openers started off innocent enough.

Then, he started to push boundaries.

And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.

Tag yourselves. I’m the anteater in a suit who thinks he can pass.

THEY JUST KEEP COMING

He’s even witty in real time.