when victor hugo said “If you have ever seen a loved one vanish in the grave, never believe that you have been deserted. that loved one is still there, beside you more than ever. the beauty of death is presence–the indescribable presence of loved souls smiling at our tears. the creature we mourn is vanished, but not gone. we can no longer see her lovely face; but we sense that we are under her wings. the dead are invisible, but not absent.”
So THAT’S why he killed so many characters… he just wanted them to beside Cosette and Marius forever :,))
NOT ONLY did Hugo’s editors beg him to please shut up
NOT ONLY do all the digressions carry core messages to the larger point of the book
there is ALSO a nonzero chance Hugo came up with some of the core ideas for Les Mis under the guidance of ghosts , and sometimes comets
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO ADVANCE THE MOST BORING POSSIBLE THEORY FOR WHY IT’S A LONG BOOK WHEN YOU COULD HAVE GHOSTS
what’s this about space rock ghosts
omg you’re gonna love this
while Victor Hugo was in exile–this started around 1853– the family’s friend Delphine Girardin introduced them all to table-tapping. Peak Spiritualism time, right?
Hugo totally fell in love with the idea, at first hoping to make contact with his dead daughter Leopoldine. Which he started to think he had! I would not laugh about that.
But then he started to get “messages” from all manner of ghosts and spirits, including:
-Shakespeare, now, as a spirit, finally able to access the Truest Language of Humanity (French) -A Comet -Andre Chenier, who dictated the ending of an “unfinished” poem that just happened to be one in a collection Hugo hadn’t finished – The Spirit of the Sepulchre – Napoleon III, From The Future, When He Was Dead – Jesus -Plato -A Lion , Like,A Four-Legged Animal That Goes Roar, But Now Dead and Speaking French , GOD’S OWN LANGUAGE, because of course -Aliens from Mercury – AND MANY MANY MORE
all speaking French and frequently speaking in RHYMED ALEXANDRINES
all sounding remarkably like Victor Hugo, though without him apparently realizing this, given that he frequently scared himself into near-faints at these Revelations and telling him, among other things, that he was going to be hailed as a PROPHET OF THE NEW AGE but had to accept not being Known as such for a while yet
and I will ABSOLUTELY laugh at all that, because OH HUGO
anyway then he got back to writing and among other things finished up Les Mis in the years to come , so SPACE ROCK GHOSTS may have had a hand in the novel! Or not! Who can say what voices move the soul of an author? Except that whatever they are, they speak in French.
There’s something honestly very awe-inspiring about the way old books were written, or at least how Victor Hugo wrote, in how one could write an entire book’s worth of content and detail, only to have the next book contain the immediate opening statement, “Hey, you know all that stuff I made you suffer through for an entire book? None of that actually matters, and you can safely start reading from this point even if you skipped it. My bad.”
The Bishop and His Household The Year 1817. Which Happens in The Year 1817, When it Is The Year 1817 Waterloo The Convent Of Petit Picpus Gamins Of Paris And Also Birds Paris, Just Everything About Paris Generally Slang, Its Theory and Use A General Theory of Revolutions and Progress The Intestine of the Leviathan
WHEN will ANY director truly UNDERSTAND these characters and give them the time they DESERVE
What about an adaption that regularly cuts to Victor Hugo lying in a bathtub going “stop stop stop STOP! you can’t just show them that! how are they going to understand that without the necessary context?” (looking directly into the camera) “so what you need to know is…” (taking a sip of wine while the camera fades to a historical scene)
Bonus points if the digressions are filmed in the style of drunk history, i.e. hugo narrating and the characters ad-libbing, except that he’s not drunk, just obnoxious.
Extra bonus points if the scenes with him are also mockumentary style and he’s actually being interviewed about the book and the interviewer will argue with him about his portrayal of Cosette or his hot take on Louis-Philippe and look into the camera like they’re on the office when he deflects.
“Naked History, with Victor Hugo”
for some reason I picture Hugo as being played by Jeff Goldblum in a fake beard
#so… les mis a la princess bride#director: *sighs* “this isn’t another pointless digression is it?”#victor hugo: *offended* “THE AUDIENCE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THE PARISIAN SEWER SYSTEM”#… i can get behind this#les miserables#literary humor#victor hugo (via @brunetteauthorette99)
…okay this adaptation needs to happen:D (I guess he can be telling it to…Charles?)
The more I learn about Victor Hugo, the more I want to kinkshame him
I think this is an argument for enforcing a nude workweek for all office workers. maybe then the bureaucracts will finally get some shit done
is this the big dick energy everyone’s talking about
im going to take this opportunity to bring back an old piece of mine i feel is relevant once again
because apparently kinkshaming victor hugo needs to be a bi-annual event
((edit: i am aware of the misspelling, that was done on purpose in the original text post, and was the reason it was funny enough to illuminate in the first place))
¯_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ 