Tag: lgbtqia

letters-to-lgbt-kids:

My dear lgbt+ kids,

If you’re the kind of person who wants to change the world, wants to do something meaningful, then you probably experienced the frustration before that comes with the thought that you’re failing at that.

It’s so easy to feel like a failure. Changing the world is a big and noble goal – and such a vague one. It can feel like you’d need lots of power or money or even the ability to perform miracles for that. If you don’t have any of that, can you even do something meaningful at all?

If you ever struggle with such worries, I want to tell you something:

You are already changing peoples lives, here and now. Without even knowing it.

Of course people with power and money can do big things, I’m not denying that. But you don’t need to be president for your actions to affect other people.

You make people smile. You make people feel listened to and cared for. You make someone’s day a little bit brighter. You make a dog wag their tail. You may even save someone’s life.

And if you read this and think “But I don’t”, then that’s because it’s not a big extraordinary thing for you to do. You just do that by being alive, by going through your usual day to day routine. You smile at a stranger or you reblog a funny pun or you send a good morning text or you hug your friend or hey, you pet your dog. Without even knowing it, you just made the world a tiny, tiny bit happier.

It matters. You matter.

With all my love,
Your Tumblr Mom

letters-to-lgbt-kids:

My dear lgbt+ kids,

A big hug to all of you who have to deal with “Maybe it’ll go away if…” suggestions.

Your identity is not a illness. It doesn’t need a cure. There’s nothing wrong with you, no need to fix you.

And yet, some people come up with ideas how to fix something that was never broken in the first place.

I’m not only talking about people who believe a self-proclaimed healer could “pray the gay away” and similar things (though those people still exist and that’s horrifying) – the people around you may even know that it’s scientifically proven that such cures do not work and still come up with their own suggestions… which are nothing but cures by another name.

One example for this would be “Maybe you just need more female friends? I think you just convinced yourself you’re a lesbian because you feel lonely, it’ll go away when you find a female best friend.” (Yes, this example is taken from personal experience).

Trans or nonbinary people often hear mental health related “advice”, like “Maybe you should get tested for schizophrenia?” (been there, heard that).

For some of us, it’s easy to see that these suggestions are ridiculous – they are! But for others, they can be a big source of insecurity or doubt, even self-hatred.

Please know that your identity is not a flaw. It’s not necessarily “caused” by anything and it certainly doesn’t need to go away – it’s just part of who you are. A normal, healthy, good part.

With all my love,
Your Tumblr Mom

leviafan:

asexual awareness week fandom challenge

Day 3: A character you see as grey-a or demisexual

Jean Valjean // Les Misérables

❝With the exception of Cosette, that is to say, with the exception of a childhood, Jean Valjean had never, in the whole of his long life, known anything of that which may be loved. The passions and loves which succeed each other had not produced in him those successive green growths, tender green or dark green, which can be seen in foliage which passes through the winter and in men who pass fifty.❞

softeeeee:

softheartedbutch:

it worries me so much that there’s been this (mostly unintentional) culture built up around coming out, to where young lgbt kids are putting themselves in danger at school and at home because they don’t want to “live a lie.” i just want to say, i came out when i was 15 and it created a lot of difficulties in my life that i could have avoided by waiting until i was older. it isolated me socially, it exposed me to homophobia from my parents, my family, my teachers, and my classmates at the most important developmental stages of my own confidence and sense of self… closeted people are not living a lie. closeted people are surviving. don’t let anyone pressure you to come out before you’re ready. don’t put yourself at risk when you don’t have to.

this is really important and applicable in SO MANY other important situations too.

Gender / Orientation is not a diagnosis.

acemindbreaker:

nbandproud:

“I feel like X and Y and Z. What am I?”

“I identify as A, but my friend says I’m more like B. Who’s right?”

“I express C through D. Is this E?”

The answer will always, always be that you should decide that by yourself.

We get questions at @ask-pride-color-schemes – and not only that, I see many similar questions directed at other blogs – that act like there are people that are the Grand Arbitrers of Identity, that we will be able to figure out Your True Identity and then you’ll be happy with it forever, but it doesn’t work like that.

What we have is experience and resources that may help you when we explain what certain labels mean, or when we try to interpret what you mean and narrow down your search to a few named identities, if what you describe is accurate and if there are accurate words to describe what you are describing.

But we can’t know what your experiences with certain words

are, or if you are omitting something important because of shame/internalized hatred, or if your vocabulary is kind of off and then we think neutrality when you meant between male and female, or we think woman-aligned when you meant feminine.

And we understand that we can’t know for sure what you feel! Or that you may not know how to express how you feel! Or that what you feel may change! And it’s ok if you word questions like absolutes because you didn’t think about what it was implying and not because you expect an “expert answer” that puts all your doubts to rest. But please don’t expect us to know everything that you know/experience.

[If you can’t see it because you are on mobile, there’s a cut here.]

Keep reading

Yes.

Only you can decide what labels work for you. Even if they make no sense to someone else, if they work for you, you can use them.

If there’s a highly-specific microlabel that accurately describes you, you don’t have to use it. Even if one of the standard labels describe you, you don’t have to call yourself that. You can be a woman who is only attracted to other women and not consider yourself lesbian if you don’t feel comfortable with that term.

You can reclaim slurs if you want to describe yourself with them. You can say ‘this identity term feels like a slur to me so don’t call me that’.

You can change what labels you use if they no longer feel right. You can change them because you were mistaken about what they meant, because you were mistaken about yourself, or because your feelings have changed over time (like switching from straight to heteroflexible because you found that one exception you’re attracted to).

You can use labels to align with a community. I know straight trans guys who still feel a connection to the label of lesbian, because they came out as that first.

Labels serve you, not the other way around. And your labels belong to you. You are responsible for finding the right labels and using them in the right ways, because no one else can tell you what labels you should use.

slothes-and-gays:

Sometimes I forget that you can’t interact with straight people like you can with normal people. Like I’ll be talking to some straight friends and make an obscure gay joke and they’ll be like ?????? and then I gotta go into a 10 minute explanation and describe 7 years of history and 5 different Tumblr textposts just so they can begin to understand my sense of humor