aroace-and-in-your-face:

Fellow aromantic disasters

I told my sister I was aro, and the only thing she was shocked about was the fact that I wouldn’t get married. Instead, I plan on becoming a famous author and writing representation for as many identities I can think of with my many pets.

So, I wanna know what other aroace people plan for adulthood. What kind of career do you want, and specifically how many cats will you own?

I’m majoring in theatre now, I want to do either costume or set design, and probably will have 3 cats.

saltyaro:

the-probable-aro:

A questioning aro: so what actually is romantic attraction?

All the other aros: we have no idea

I remember something like two years ago some classmate asked me, and some other classmate, what does romantic attraction feels like, as they were questioning.

They could have asked anyone in the classroom but no they had to ask. My aromantic ass. And her demiromantic ass. Best idea ever. 

what does dysphoria feel like? i’m award it’s different for different people but i’m having a trouble knowing if i’m feeling dysphoric or not. i’m sorry if this is a horrible question

realtransfacts:

People can experience dysphoria in so many different ways, there’s never going to be a perfect “this is what dysphoria feels like” check-list to go through.

Generally speaking, gender dysphoria is a feeling of discomfort with being seen as or treated as a gender that you’re not. This can be relating to social situations, how people perceive you and talk about you – what pronouns and names they use for you etc – or regarding your body (or specific parts of your body) and how you and society as a whole genders it.

This discomfort can show itself in a lot of different ways, some of them obvious and some of them more sneaky. It can feel like outright nausea or something close to physical pain, it can feel like a dull sadness, it can feel like annoyance or anger, and many other negative feelings of varying intensity. The one thing that’s overarching is that it’s a bad feeling, something uncomfortable, something that tells you that something isn’t right.

And it’s common for these feelings to fluctuate as well; few of the trans people I’ve known have had the exact same amount of dysphoria felt in the exact same way all the time.

Some more writing related to gender dysphoria are here, if you’re interested in reading a bit more:

I know i’m most likely faking or forcing being transgender. I’m just autosuggestioning myself to feel unique or special or something. I want to stop feeling like a boy because i know those feelings are not real and i’m supposed to be a girl but no matter how much i try i end up falling back into this stupid habit, like an addiction. I can’t stop thinking about myself as a boy and i dont know how to stop. How do i drop this crap and accept i’m just a cis girl?

transgenderteensurvivalguide:

Kii says:

Please don’t use ableist language in your asks.

Honestly, if you mostly see yourself as a guy, you’re probably trans, and not “pretending.”

Here are some links that might help:

nonbinary-safe-haven:

xkingoftheclouds:

when i was going through a crisis of “my identity will never make sense, i will constantly have to correct people, and i will never not look female” the one thing i needed was a guide to presenting subtly nonbinary/androgynous/genderless. so here is that guide!

-lots. of. hoodies.

-flannels, which you can find in literally any section! men, women, children, babies. everyone gets flannels!

-no makeup

-for afab folks, cut ur hair! if ur parents dont want u gettin it all short, get it to ur neck/shoulders

-CLOTHES WITH NB COLORS. god i tye-dyed a shirt with yellow, black and purple and it was soooo nice to wear on super androgynous days

-amab= feminine clothes, afab= masculine clothes! pushing away from your assigned gender is just as important as pulling towards androgynous!

-oversized band/fandom shirts! not only super gender-neutral, also a good icebreaker. “you like stranger things, too? are you excited for season 3?”

i rlly hope this helps you! 

-If you’d rather not or can’t cut your long hair, middle part it rather than side parting it! It helps, if you’re aiming to make it look less feminine. And if you want short hair to look less masculine, try side parting it, shaving one side, curling it, or putting in hair clips!

-Boxy shirts that are a lil baggy but not super baggy are good if you want to make your chest looks flat!

-Confuse tf out of people!! Wear a button up, bow tie, shorts, and tights; liptick with stubble, combos like that!

-Cuffing pants usually looks more masculine; rolling pant legs usually looks more feminine

-Doc martens/any similar boots (esp ankle boots) are hella gender neutral

-Mom jeans 👌👌👌

-Darker colors help to mask where you are and aren’t curved

-Roll The Tee Shirt Sleeves

reasons why hamlet is actually gay and why he and horatio are together

enjolryas:

Despite what the majority of the public is taught, queer people have existed throughout all of history. From ancient to present times, their lives and—more often than not—hardships have been documented and illustrated in pieces of entertainment. During the late Renaissance, Shakespeare produced Hamlet  (1605), one of these such pieces.  Hamlet, taking place in 15th century Denmark, follows the story of Prince Hamlet, who learns news that his father has been killed by his uncle, the newly-crowned King Claudius. As Hamlet grapples with his responsibility to avenge his father, his only confidante and source of trust is his best friend, Horatio. Although one may not perceive with the naked eye any hints of queer representation in  Hamlet, a closer look at the play reveals how Shakespeare used Renaissance-era stereotypes of queer men as a means of indicating characters’ sexualities. Not only is Hamlet gay, but the nature of Hamlet and Horatio’s relationship indicates that their bond is one of romantic intimacy, which presents itself in their interactions together.

Hamlet’s femininity, which is demonstrated by his over-emotional—if not outright melodramatic—demeanor, hints at Renaissance-era queer-coding. When the royal family is first introduced, Claudius comments on the “unmanly grief” Hamlet has for his late father (I.ii.94). Customs would dictate that Gertrude, being a widowed woman, would be the one mourning for the longest period of time, but Hamlet wears his emotions on his sleeve and reverses traditional family roles. While Gertrude is indifferent and gracious, Hamlet is morose and temperamental. His sensitivity reflects stereotypical feminine traits. Later, before the players’ performance begins, Hamlet personifies his soul as a mistress and says that she has chosen Horatio as her closest companion. By defining his psyche as feminine, Hamlet is violating societal standards masculinity. Feminine men are—as biased groups have believed throughout history—stereotypically queer, and as thus, Shakespeare is laying the foundation for a queer-coded male character.

Shakespeare further alludes to Hamlet’s homosexuality through jest. When Hamlet is comparing mankind to angels and gods, he says that despite mankind’s excellence, mankind does not delight him because humans do not matter. Rosencrantz laughs at the phrase “Man delights not me”, giving Hamlet’s words an unintentional double-meaning and insinuating that the opposite is true, that Hamlet has sexual relations with other men (II.ii.317). Although the laughter, as Rosencrantz later states, stems from the prospect of male actors “delighting” Hamlet with a play, it is more likely that Rosencrantz is lying, considering Shakespeare’s tendency to never pass up an opportunity to make an inappropriate joke. The young men of  Hamlet are known to regularly make inappropriate jokes, as seen with Guildenstern’s pun about Fortune’s private parts and Horatio’s comment about rhyming “was” with “ass” (II.ii.237; III.ii.291). Rosencrantz is therefore likely doing the same. The use of jokes presents a way for Shakespeare to indicate that Hamlet isn’t heterosexual without outright stating so, given that it would not be socially acceptable to do so. Hamlet’s friends are aware of his attraction to men and are not afraid to imply that they are aware of this fact.

Although Hamlet is written as having a romantic relationship with Ophelia, the forms of address Hamlet uses to refer to different characters reveal that his true feelings are for Horatio. In modern English, “thou” pronouns are used to express intimacy or belittlement, while “you” pronouns are used to express formality. It would be expected that Hamlet would call Ophelia “thou”, at least in private when he does not have to worry about social formalities. However, Hamlet only calls Ophelia “you”, except when he uses the belittling form of“thou” to disparage her about her virginity. Hamlet’s lack of affectionate words reveals that his feelings for Ophelia do not run as deep as true romantic intimacy would prescribe. In contrast, Hamlet uses the affectionate form of “thou” while speaking to Horatio in private, such as before the players perform and after Ophelia’s funeral. Hamlet is only willing to express his affection for Horatio when they are alone as if trying to keep his love for him hidden; it would be dangerous to refer to Horatio in an intimate manner in public, lest the court starts to suspect something between them. Furthermore, because Hamlet and Horatio are the only two non-familial people to exchange affectionate forms of “thou”—even Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Hamlet’s other friends, are not referred to in such a fond fashion—their bond is more profound than  Hamlet ’s canon romantic pairings. On account of these forms of address, it is evident that Hamlet considers his relationship with Horatio more intimate than his relationship with his own girlfriend.

Hamlet’s feelings for Horatio are further confirmed by the manner in which he behaves around Horatio. Although Hamlet has written multiple love letters to Ophelia, during the time period of the play itself, he is never genuinely affectionate with her. He insults her, mocks her, and slut-shames her. Even after she has died and he proclaims his love for her, he seems to only say so in order to out-match Laertes’ love for Ophelia during their graveyard fight. It is well known that Hamlet is already “envenom[ed] with … envy” over Laertes’ fencing skills, so to rile Laertes up by trivializing his love for his dead sister would make Hamlet feel more powerful (IV.vii.103). Hamlet may care for Ophelia, but he is not in love with her. In contrast, Hamlet treats Horatio in a manner that can only be described as adoring. After complimenting Horatio on his level-headedness, Hamlet says:

Give me that man
That is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him In my heart’s core, ay, in my heart of heart,
As I do thee. (III.ii.73-76)

Not only is Hamlet referring to Horatio as “thee”, but he is also expressing a sentiment deep enough to be a romantic confession. Based on Hamlet’s words and actions, he is more intimate with Horatio than he is with Ophelia, his canon love interest. The deduction of such facts results in one conclusion: Hamlet is actually in love with Horatio.

Although Hamlet’s affection for Horatio is substantial, the reciprocated feelings Horatio has for Hamlet are even greater, as seen in the sacrifices Horatio is willing to make for him. Before the duel, Horatio tells Hamlet that he is willing to say Hamlet is not fit to fight. Prepared to lie to the court and throw his honor away, Horatio is ready to do anything to protect Hamlet and keep him safe. His devotion and attachment to Hamlet come together to form a deep affection, and while this alone is not enough to confirm any romantic feelings Horatio has for Hamlet, Horatio’s future actions are. While Hamlet is dying, Horatio attempts to commit suicide because he cannot bear to live a life without Hamlet. For Horatio to be so compelled to kill himself, his love for Hamlet must be one of no common rate, one that mere friendship cannot accurately define. In fact, Horatio’s suicide attempt in the face of Hamlet’s demise parallels the lovers’ deaths in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare, having produced  Romeo and Juliet before Hamlet, must have known what he was implying, perhaps with the hope that the audience would catch on as well. Since platonic fondness cannot explain Horatio’s devotion to Hamlet, romantic fondness must be the reasoning behind it.

Paired together, the evidence of a queer-coded Hamlet and the romantic undertones that Hamlet and Horatio share result in a play that calls attention to the struggles of same-sex romance during the Renaissance. Although it is true that the nature of men’s platonic relationships back then was allowed to be more affectionate than they are now, it cannot be ignored that Hamlet and Horatio’s love transcends the love of the play’s other, explicit romantic relationships. Although  Hamlet has always been a tragedy, examining Hamlet through a queer lens makes the play even more harrowing as two lovers, prohibited by society from expressing their feelings publicly, are ripped apart.